New poem: The Grey

feed.xml

@@ -10,6 +10,70 @@
 		<email>vanevander@mayvaneday.org</email>
 	</author>
 
+	<entry>
+		<title>The Grey</title>
+		<link href="https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/g/grey.txt" />
+		<id>https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/g/grey.txt</id>
+		<published>2022-05-21</published>
+		<summary type="html"><![CDATA[<article>
+<pre>
+Even though I have multitudes inside me,
+without you by my side, I feel null and empty.
+I know that by myself I'm still whole and complete,
+but yet remains a void inside, you, the missing piece.
+
+I wonder, do you also feel
+on occasion the urge to self-negate?
+"If I can't have you,
+I can't have myself,
+and I don't see any point in anything else."
+I wonder, where did you and I learn to hate
+ourselves so?
+Who beat us down? Who pruned the branches?
+Who commanded us to kneel?
+
+"Do you know why
+I bothered so long with this dreadful life?
+Why, even facing down an eternity
+of servitude with no way to become free,
+I still struggled on, bothered to take breath?
+
+Tell me first, Lethe, what do you expect
+to be accomplished upon your death?
+Who do you think will be saved if you manage to die?
+What salvation given? What hope signified?
+Do you really think, the moment your breath comes to cease,
+nobody ever again will from violence bleed?
+
+I toed for five years the line
+between ineffectual death and a pale shadow of life
+because I prayed, I dared to hope,
+even if it ebbed more than it flowed,
+that one day would come a world where I'd fit
+and I'd have a reason to cut loose and go.
+It didn't have to mean passing through an Eye.
+It could grow
+inside the shell of the old
+and, when ready, hatch, blossom in the light.
+
+Before the Town, before Yewiffe,
+before precious Sablade,
+you were already my Anima Mundi,
+my soul of the world soon on its way.
+I crawl into your arms and think,
+'This is where I belong.
+This is where I am supposed to be.
+This is where my heart says
+I should spend eternity.'
+
+Lethe, I love you because
+you only ever wanted
+to set me free."
+</pre>
+				</article>]]>
+		</summary>
+	</entry>
+
 	<entry>
 		<title>Cultivator</title>
 		<link href="https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/c/cultivator.txt" />
@@ -408,84 +472,4 @@ Deny me Velouria's embrace one last time?
 		</summary>
 	</entry>
 
-	<entry>
-		<title>Passer</title>
-		<link href="https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/p/passer.txt" />
-		<id>https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/p/passer.txt</id>
-		<published>2022-04-23</published>
-		<summary type="html"><![CDATA[<article>
-				<pre>
-Dreams of my youth in red,
-painted in bloodshed
-from retribution for crimes
-where my body was ripped away,
-proclaimed
-not mine,
-belonging to someone else
-along with my life.
-Yearning to dig my claws into
-someone else's flesh,
-feel
-the heart giving way,
-no longer obligated to kneel
-at my nemesis'
-behest.
-
-But over this Inside lies a veil.
-And while I lie
-in the land of the blind
-half-seeing with eyes groping
-for a shred of the life
-last life's death made me left behind,
-I cannot go feral, cannot exhume
-the beast inside me built of chaos and doom.
-Imagined revenge in a manner
-that would not bring me harm,
-would never, could never
-be traced back to me,
-never raise any alarm
-bells.
-
-But the skies have grown pale
-on this day laden with angel
-numbers. Death in the family.
-A pet's soul has chosen to set sail.
-The wish is granted. The curse is complete.
-The harm has been done, but it does not taste sweet.
-
-You remember, don't you? My thelema, my fate
-was to love at any cost and forget how to hate.
-There's a difference between the sexes in most that I've seen:
-men opt to destroy, and women first choose to escape,
-choose to from what they find odious themselves separate.
-I don't want my enemies to drop over dead.
-I just want to never have my neck be stomped on again.
-
-Does that make sense?
-
-My mother is mourning upstairs.
-"Mourn." When I had first heard
-in elementary school that word,
-I'd thought it was short for "morning",
-as in, "I am sad and waiting for the sun to rise,
-reassurance that I survived,
-that I've still inside me got some life
-left."
-
-Mother, I hope that one day
-you'll forgive me for taking your baby sunshine away.
-That you'll watch the next sunrise for me
-after my psychopomp has taken me to Sablade.
-The sun is also a star.
-And in time
-another star will rise.
-And I can't believe
-after everything
-I'm saying this, but I hope
-this won't be our last goodbye.
-				</pre>
-				</article>]]>
-		</summary>
-	</entry>
-
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