THE VIRIDIAN SHIPPING COMPANY

a novella by Vane Vander

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

ACT 1

DYING PARADISE

PROLOGUE

Some nights, the stars were too bright. He’d paid for the extra light filter on all the windows, just to make sure that he didn’t accidentally fry his eyes every time he dared to stare out into the abyss. But they threw a weird sepia tint on everything, which washed out the bright colors of every planet he’d been to since he’d gotten the damn filter installed.

Some nights, he left the filter on, and all the planets looked like they were straight out of a second-era film, and his eyes didn’t feel like fifty-pound weights embedded in his skull by bedtime.

But tonight wasn’t one of those nights.

“Captain Viridi, we are entering orbit.”

He yawned and stumbled over to the dashboard, long coat dragging at his heels. “Where are we again?”

“Planet Vuebos, sector 8, Orchidia System.”

He rolled his eyes up at the little speaker at the center of the roof, poking out just a tiny little bit. Such a small device, yet the voice filled the room, coming from all directions.

“Why, again?”

“Package pickup. Destination: Planet Iawei, sector two. Priority: urgent.”

“O-oh, yeah, that.” He rubbed his eyes and yawned again. “Say, Voice…”

“Yes, Captain Viridi?”

He started blankly at the dashboard. A handful of blinking lights, a polished wooden pirate-esque steering wheel, some levers. All blurry in his drowsy vision.

He shook his head. “Never mind. I forgot what I was going to say.”

He stumbled back to the other end of the main deck. A wide window, curved with the rest of the back wall, offering a panoramic view of the space beyond from floor to ceiling.

“Voice, turn the lights off.”

The lights immediately blinked out.

It was just him and the stars and the silence between them. A mere silhouette of a man against the inky black expanse, melding into each other, the burning hot arms of the gas giants almost reaching out to caress him, to let him burn up in their embrace.

Ferrion, #28563-76, discovered by James Ferre in the year 213, Third Era.

Halcyon, #39379-93, discovered by Miriel Jamesson in the year 134, Third Era.

Jilky, #14583-83, discovered by-

“Shut up!”

The popups all blinked away, leaving him alone with the stars again.

Mother?

He reached into his shirt and pulled out the pendant hanging from his neck. His fingers curled around the cold metal heart, just inches from one of his own.

You love me lots, right, Mother?

No response.

There hadn’t been one for nearly twenty years.

1

The marketplaces were usually crowded. No matter how many planets he traversed, no matter how many packages he delivered, they were always stuffed to the brim, bustling with activity. Little kids with candy sticks sticking halfway out of their mouths, adults haggling with each other, slapping each other, wrestling each other to the ground. Sometimes they tried to wrestle him, one of the few times he was glad to have the stungun hanging from his belt, if only for a silent threat.

“H-hey! Dumplings! Five pennes each!”

A crazy-haired man flapped his feathered arms behind his market booth, almost knocking down a little child. He didn’t take any notice as he yelled, “Carrots! Get your carrots! Steamed, boiled, Earthen style!”

He turned his head away and pulled his orange hood down further over his head. It already covered his forehead, just barely encroaching into his vision. But the sun was beating down on all of them, the cracked concrete almost sizzling as he made his way down the market street, and enough of his body was already unevenly tanned.

He took a left turn onto a side street. Three houses down the road. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened his notes.

Green door. Run-down. Missing a doorknob.

He glanced back up at the house.

Yeah, that’s the one.

He put his phone away and walked up the front steps and knocked. A rustling inside as two clearly intoxicated men started brawling in the center of the marketplace street.

“Ah!” The door swung open. A wiry man appeared in its place. “And who might you be?”

“Seffie Viridi, sir.” Seffie bowed. “Of the Viridian Shipping Company.”

Identified: Harry Tens, ID #5684376. Resident of Vuebos, Orchidia System. Human.

“Ah, yes. Come in, come in! Would you like some tea?”

Seffie shook his head. “No thanks, sir. Company policy-”

“Nonsense! It must be tiring zooming across the Orchidia system so fast. Come inside. I’ll get you something to drink.”

The wiry man- Harry, if Seffie’s overlay vision was to be trusted- zipped over to the stove and cranked up one of the dials. Flames shot to life under the metal teapot sitting on one of the back burners. Seffie looked around, hesitant, and then stepped in and took a seat at the table. The chairs were rickety, lopsided wooden legs, roughly sanded to just barely round. Seffie rocked back and forth as best he could, an anxious habit picked up in childhood, as Harry rubbed his hands together.

He looks like a mouse.

Or a cartoon villain.

A cartoon villain mouse. Yeah, that’s it.

“How’s the interplanetary traffic, Seffie?”

“It’s… fine, I suppose. How much longer will the tea take?”

“How much longer? I just started! First I’ll have to find the leaves, then stitch them into a fancy bag…”

“Sir, I don’t have time to be sitting around. I have a tight schedule. Please just hand me the package so I can be on my way.”

“Impatient, aren’t we? Just like one of those filthy Ingvots. Or a Tailtiutian.” The wiry man cursed under his breath and retreated to a side room, returning a moment later with a large wheeled chest. “Or a Miralayan.”

Seffie tugged the hood farther down his face. He pulled out his phone again. “Transfer the pennes, and I’ll be on my way.”

Harry grumbled and swiped his phone from the counter. They tapped the devices together- Seffie’s tinkled. They slipped them away again, and Seffie took the chest and wheeled it out of the house as fast as the wheels would let him.

Back out into the open air. He let out a sigh of relief and started backtracking his steps. Back through the marketplace, where the fight had apparently wound down and the combatants gone home. About half of the former crowd milled about, studying the wares with careful eyes.

A drop of sweat rolled down his face. He resisted the urge to rub it away, shivering as it dragged through the ridge between his nose and his cheeks, dipping into one of his dimples.

Just a little farther, Seffie, and then you’re home free.

He crossed outside of the village borders, where his ship was still parked. The dappled metal glinted from the sun- he winced and covered his eyes with the back of his arm.

A green dot blinked in the corner of his vision.

Open the gate, Captain Viridi?

“Yeah,” he whispered.

The ship’s bottom hatch slid open. A ramp lowered down. Seffie pushed the chest in front of him and wheeled it into the ship and immediately took a turn left into the cargo store. Dim lights greeted him; he rubbed his eyes and waited for them to adjust.

The ship shuddered as the ramp slid back in and the hatch clicked shut. Seffie brushed back his hood and reached for the locks-

Something rustled behind the cardboard boxes.

He froze.

“Voice?”

“Yes, Captain Viridi?”

He paused for a moment. The boxes settled silent again.

“Uh… nothing.”

He pulled away from the chest, and then slowly circled around the chest, eyeing it all the while. Matte black surfaces covered the floor, wicking away the prints of his boots like an obsessive maid, muffling the echoes of his steps as he watched it with an intent eye-

And wandered right into someone’s arms.

The arms shoved him into the nearest wall. His vision swam for a moment- then settled. A woman breathing in his face, a translucent veil obscuring her own features, ruffling with every breath she took. Her dark hair tattered and unkempt and long. Her eyes set, narrow, angry.

“Please don’t shoot me. I’m just a messenger.” He watched, almost paralyzed but for his feet, as the woman retreated and crept around the other edge of the room. “I mean, you can if you want to. That’s what assassins do, right? But if you kill me, you have to deliver the rest of the packages I scheduled. And tell Ikky I’m out of commission so xe doesn’t waste xir time waiting for me forever. And pass the deed for my ship off to xer too-”

The woman’s eyebrows tightened. “Ikky?”

“Am I stuttering? I’m sorry. I’ll try to-” he cleared his throat- “speak more clearly in my final moments. Be sure to write down my final words for Ikky, okay?”

She glowered at him, face tight, for a few heavy moments.

“You’re not afraid at all, are you?”

Seffie shrugged. “I know I should be. You’re Lazarus, the infamous assassin, right?”

She nodded.

“Killer of a thousand assholes, both in and outside of the Orchidia system?”

She nodded, slower this time.

“And you think I’m one too?”

“You didn’t answer my question,” she snarled. “Are you afraid?”

He shook his head. “Not really. I think, if you were here just to kill me… you would have done it just now when you had me up against the wall. And if you wanted a ransom, you would have taken me hostage by now. Not that there’s anyone who would pay a ransom for me…” He slumped. “But that’s beside the point.” He glanced over his shoulder. “I don’t see a knife in my back. What gives?”

“Do you want to die?” she snarled.

“I didn’t know I got a say in the matter. But if you’re giving me a choice, then I think I want to be immortal.”

“That’s not-” She grimaced. “Just hand over the package.”

“Or… you’re going to kill me?”

“That’s generally what assassins do, yes.” She took a step towards Seffie. “I want the package. And I want you to ferry me somewhere.”

“Are you… going to pay me?”

Before he could blink, she whipped out her knife and held it against his neck. It dug just the slightest amount into his skin. Even so much as a sneeze would slice it right open.

“With your life.”

A queer smile spread across Seffie’s face. “Is your knife thirsty for blood? You’d have a better time killing the guy who gave me-” his eyes flickered to the chest- “that package to ship. And the guy who was going to get it, too. I’m not so good in the blood department.”

“They’re already on my list.”

“Nice. You’re really on top of things, huh? If you like packages so much-” he wiggled his eyebrows- “why don’t you work for me?”

She retreated her hand. The knife retracted. She slipped it back into her belt.

“I think I’ll stay an assassin. But… thank you for the offer. That’s rather generous of you.”

“Thanks for my life.” Seffie let out a sigh of relief. He turned for the door. “I’ll be doing pilot stuff. If you need anything, just ask… or put another knife to my throat; that works too…”

He left. The door slammed shut behind him. Lazarus let out a deep breath and crouched down beside the chest. She ran a hand down the side, her fingers leaving smudged trails along the metal finish.

She rested her forehead on the chest and closed her eyes.

“We’re almost home, Astram.”

2

“On route to Planet Iawei, Sector 2, Orchidia System. Entering orbit in approximately fourteen hours.”

Seffie let out a deep breath and pulled his legs closer in. His eyes drifted to his fingernails, fingertips pressing gently on his knees. Ragged and jagged at the edges, in need of a good filing, still with a few chips of nail polish from the last time he’d seen Ikky.

From the last time he’d let Ikky do his nails, content to swirl colors as xe pleased with the full knowledge that it would all be wrecked in a few days’ time anyway.

He rolled his eyes to the ceiling. “Voice?”

“Yes, Captain Viridi?”

“Call Ikky.”

Voice fell silent, replaced by the softly pulsing tone of the ringer, going on for a few seconds until:

“Oh. Seffie.”

Seffie closed his eyes and leaned against the couch cushions, letting the voice echo through the room.

“Seffie, are you there?”

“Yeah,” he whispered. “I’m here.”

“Is something wrong? You almost never call.”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Hm.” A tap, tap, tap on the other end. “Something’s wrong, then.”

“You know me so well.”

“What is it this time? Wanderlust? Sonder? Seasonal depression?” Something clinked on the other end. Glass, probably. “I might have something. But you’ll have to swing by and pick it up.”

His eyes flew open. “You know I have a busy schedule-”

“Life is short. Everybody’s lives are short. But some lives are shorter than others-”

Seffie hissed. “Don’t-”

Ikky sighed. “I’m sorry. It… slipped my mind. But you haven’t swung by in a while.”

“Nothing’s happened in a while.”

“That’s not true. I’ve been working on my nest. Three robins flew by and laid their eggs right in the bottom of it just as I was starting to make it viable shelter, so I haven’t been able to use it yet. Hopefully they’ll clear out by the time you come. If you come back in time…”

His fingers, almost against his will, crawled back up to the pendant hanging from his neck.

“I heard,” xe said, “that that assassin… Lazarus, I think her name was- was spotted in Vuebos a few hours ago. I know you’re not dead, obviously, but you’re not there, are you?”

“I’m right here,” Lazarus said, strolling into the main deck. “Kindly inform me next time you call the police, Captain…”

“Just call me Seffie.” A nervous smile cracked through his face. “Ikky would never call the police.”

“Is that- Seffie! Aiding and abetting criminals now?”

Lazarus turned around, eyes to the ceiling, trying to find the source of the voice. “Hush, woman, or I’ll speed you right to the top of my list.”

Ikky sighed. “Calm down. I’m not going to call the goddamn police. I was going to praise Seffie for finally taking some direct action against his snobby rich employers, but if you’re going to call me a woman…” Something rustled on the other end. Seffie shivered, half-expecting a breeze to flow through, even though they were in the middle of dead space. “Come visit sometime, Seffie. Doctor’s orders.”

Ikky hung up. Seffie sighed and shook his head and rested it on his knees.

Lazarus stolled up to the redhead man. “Was that your girlfriend, or…?”

“Are you going to threaten me with a knife again if I say no?”

The woman’s mouth tightened into a thin line. She strolled over to the dashboard. “Good. You haven’t changed course.”

“Was I supposed to? You did say you needed me to ferry you somewhere.”

“No. Not yet. After I kill the recipient on Iawei.”

“Where are you going?”

She shook her head, back still turned away from Seffie. “Somewhere you wouldn’t know about. Outside of the Orchidia System.”

“Outside-” Seffie flew to his feet, standing on the couch. “How much outside? An asteroid? An exoplanet? I don’t have that much fuel in reserves!”

“Money won’t be a problem. I’ll suck the recipient dry. You can buy all the fuel you need.”

One of his hands flew to his pendant. “I’m sorry. I need to stay in the Orchidia System, close to Ikky. I have… medical issues.”

“Why?” Lazarus turned around, her eyes alight. Seffie’s throat tightened. “Isn’t my sister more important than your medicine?”

“Your… sister?”

Lazarus stared at him for a second, eyes blank, and then she swore under her breath and turned and ran for the nearest door.

Seffie watched as she disappeared into the captain’s quarters. He moved to get off the couch, the springs bouncing just the tiniest bit under him, but she immediately ran back out again, face full of disgust.

The skin around her eyes was puffy and red.

“You got a guest room or something?” she snarled.

Seffie shook his head. “Sorry. You’ll have to sleep on the couch.”

“Where does your crew sleep?”

“In the captain’s bedroom, where you just were.”

“What- you all snuggle into the same bed?”

He gave her a sidelong glare. “I work alone.”

“Yeah, somehow I find that hard to believe.”

“Have you seen anyone else on this ship?”

She touched the knife on her belt. “Don’t try my patience, Miralayan.”

She turned on a dime and went back down the stairs to the cargo hold.

Seffie sighed. He pulled his legs back in close and leaned back and closed his eyes.

“Voice?”

“Yes, Captain Viridi?”

“Does Lazarus really have a sister?”

Voice went quiet for a few seconds. Seffie rubbed at the little red bump on his forehead, in the middle of the space between his eyebrows, about the size of the nail on his pinky finger.

“I couldn’t find an entry for ‘Lazarus’ in the Orchidia System citizen database.”

“Have you tried against her actual name?”

Voice fell silent again, for less time this time. “I couldn’t find an entry for ‘Makoi Leylasen’ in the Orchidia System citizen database.”

Seffie grunted. “Do I have time for another visit to Ikky after this next stop?”

“You have approximately eighty-six hours between your departure from Iawei and the expected pickup of your next delivery. Priority: low; three-day delivery delay explicitly requested. Given the average stay of your previous visits, you have sufficient time.”

“Schedule it all for Ikky. No matter what Lazarus says.”

3

Iawei had never seemed so… blue. The planet was almost completely covered in ocean, only a few islands poking their heads above the surface, barely enough to sustain more than a million entities of life. Jagged mountains and cragged valleys lined the rocky planet underneath the waves like a shark’s jaw, a dentist’s worst nightmare, threatening to slice him and his ship up at the slightest error in landing.

Seffie found his tongue running along his own teeth, studying the pokey edges, the one little indent in one of his back molars where a cavity had gone unchecked for a while and made a divot big enough for him to feel. It still hurt sometimes, but nothing he really needed medical attention for anymore.

“For a one-man crew, you have a… formidable medbay.”

Seffie jolted. Lazarus came strolling onto the back deck where he was staring out the wide window, her former clothes discarded somewhere, wearing… some of Seffie’s old clothes. Jorts, ragged at the edges, and a t-shirt almost coming apart at the seams near the collar.

“What- my clothes-” He shook his head. “Never mind that. What were you doing in my medbay?”

“That’s my business, and mine alone.” She flicked his ear. He resisted the urge to grimace. “I’ve… hidden the contents of the package. The chest appears big enough for me to fit inside. You’re going to smuggle me in.”

“A-and then what?”

“I’ll signal. You’ll know when. You’ll run, and I’ll shoot that bastard bourgeois right in his dainty little face.”

Seffie gulped. “R-right. Yeah. I… I’ll help.” He returned his gaze to the planet below. “You don’t need to put a knife to my throat this time.”

“Correct answer, Miralayan.”

“Please stop calling me that. I have a name.”

“One assigned to you by your egg and sperm donor, chosen while you were incubating in the baby chambers underground, checked by your government for unlikeliness to inspire rebellion and then approved.” Her upper lip curled. “Disgusting. Hardly a name at all.”

“Actually, I was a live birth. I never really lived on Miralay.”

“A Son of Eponine?”

Seffie shifted his feet, unconfortable. “Mother was.”

“A descendant of an ardent rebel, and yet you so easily bend to my command.”

“Not much for me to rebel against.” Seffie reached into his shirt and pulled out his pendant, letting his fingers curl around it. “Except my own genes, maybe. And I don’t have much of a choice about either. Either you’ll kill me, or my own head will.”

“So that makes you…”

He winced. “It’s not something I want to talk about right now.”

“I see. I pray you’ll discover something to rebel against real quick.” She turned to leave the deck. “I’ll be waiting in the cargo hold for when we land.”

Deep breath, Seffie. You’re going to make it out of this delivery alive.

Deep breath, Seffie. You’re going to see Ikky again real soon. Xe’ll be real glad to see you, don’t you think?

Deep breath, Seffie…

He watched as the ship descended closer and closer to the launch pad at the edge of the fenced-off property. It wasn’t much of a fence proper- a massive brick wall surrounding the modular mansion, a designer’s paradise- but it was big enough that the ship kept autocorrecting itself as it drew closer to touchdown. The people below were mere specks on his vision from where he stood, looking down as best as he could, their facial features blurry, indistinguishable from the smudges on his glasses back when he bothered with glasses.

He glanced back down at the dashboard. Seven more miles to go.

“Voice?”

“Yes, Captain Viridi?”

“What’s the weather like for Ikky right now?”

A few seconds of silence as Voice thought. “Weather report for Leithtemple Farm, planet Bryhista, sector 12, Orchidia System: thirty degrees Fahrenheit, sunny, slight wind to the northeast.”

Perfect weather.

Five more miles to go. The ship jolted as the last of the stabilizing rockets kicked in.

“Lazarus is in the cargo bay, right?”

“She appears to have climbed into the chest.”

“Good.”

Three more miles to go. The faces became recognizable. Two miles, one.

The weight settled back into his bones as the ship landed.

Seffie climbed down the stairs and went straight to the cargo bay. Sure enough, Lazarus had tucked herself into the chest, closing the lid behind her- the outer buckles were unlocked. Seffie pulled on his cloak and then flipped the chest buckles locked and wheeled the chest out of the cargo bay, waiting for the ramp to lower before bringing it down with him.

“Seffie Viridi!”

A busty man with a white suit on approached him, arms out wide like he wanted a hug. They made eye contact for a second- Seffie averted his eyes to the man’s mustache, each and every hair somehow immaculately trimmed to the exact same length.

Identified: Terry Hans, ID #6402754. Resident of Iawei, Orchidia System. Human.

“The fastest shipper in the whole Orchidia System- nay, the whole galaxy, perhaps!” He reached out his arm. Seffie shook his hand almost mechanically, eyes still averted. “I trust you haven’t interfered with the package in any way?”

Seffie let his face go to stone. Emotionless, distant. “N-no, sir.”

The businessman threw his arms up into the air. His teeth were too pearly white to be real. “Excellent!” He turned towards the mansion. “Let me lead you to where I want it unpacked.”

Seffie followed him down the stone path, winding through the spacious yard of the property. At least three concrete water fountains, spurting out shimmering liquid almost gold in the sunlight. A group of statues of naked cherubims, childish figures with round cheeks and even rounder buttcheeks.

His eyes started to ache. He focused his gaze on the ruffles on the man’s suit, bouncing ever so slightly as they reached the mansion and stepped in through wide gold-plated doors.

And gold-plated everything else, too. Save the floor, made of thick glass panels, the only thing separating them from the jagged bottoms of rock pits carved out two miles under. Paintings hung on the walls, incomprehensible blurs of browns and tans in silver frames.

Seffie’s throat tightened. He forced himself forward. Two more steps, four, eight, ten, twelve.

They turned left into a side room, a wide chamber of some sort. A red velvet curtain greeted them a few feet from the entrance, blocking his view of most of the room. Something beeped on the man’s belt- he ignored it.

“Set it right here.”

Seffie wheeled it between them and let go of the handle. He coughed and forced himself to meet the man’s gaze.

“Will that be all, sir?”

“Why? Are you in a rush, Seffie? I was hoping you would… stay a while.”

Yeah, that’s not creepy at all.

“If you’re offering me a place to stay, sir, I’m afraid I’ll have to respectfully decline. Company policy.”

“Surely your company would be willing to overlook things if I infused your coffers with a few thousand pennes?”

Seffie took a step backwards towards the door. He retrieved his phone from his pocket and held it out in front of him. “Payment, please.”

“Send me an invoice.” The man stepped forward, bridging the distance. “I’d like to… requisition some other services-”

The chest suddenly rolled a few feet over.

That’s-

That’s the signal!

Seffie whirled on his feet and took off running. His phone almost slipped from his fingers- he just barely held control over his limbs long enough to slip it securely back in. The sound of bullets echoed through the hallway- wet thuds. His lungs instantly started burning, crumpling up in his chest like a leaf of paper on fire.

“You bastard! You desecrated my sister! You stole the life from her!” A guttural scream rang through the hallway. “What do you say? An eye for an eye? A limb for a limb?”

Seffie took the closest turn out of the building. The doors slammed shut behind him.

Green text spaghettied all over his vision.

He tripped and tumbled into the grass.

Dark curtains- the ones from the room, maybe? he wondered- embraced him, and everything fell silent.

4

Virtuality 7, Rev. 10.9

Now booting…

A recent system crash has been detected. Your autocontrol system’s body map appears to be corrupted. You may experience phantom limb sensations while it recalibrates.

Something tapped the back of Seffie’s hand.

Something long and thin…

A finger?

Come on, Seffie! What else could it be? Someone’s gonna tap you with their dong?

The probably-finger tapped him again. And then on his neck- and then several hundred fingers tapping him all over his body, each cramped onto the surface of his skin, fighting for room.

“Seffie?”

“L… Lazarus?” he managed to slog out.

The fingers disappeared.

“I know I can’t expect Miralayans to be capable of running an Earthen marathon, but you made it all of fifty feet.” A heavy pause. “Fif-ty.” Another pause, this one less oppressive. “It would be wise of you to wake your ass up soon. The cops are most likely on their way. Although they’re damn slow, because I’ve pilfered all his money and taken a shower and a change of clothes and there’s still no sign of them.”

And you left me here on the ground this whole time.

He cracked open his eyes. Lazarus was in a plain white shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants.

“So he’s… dead?”

“Yes, smart one,” she hissed. “Astute observation. I can see why you’re a captain.”

Recalibration is taking longer than usual. Temporarily disabling gross motor processing in voluntary muscles. Please wait…

She sighed. “Do I have to do everything myself?”

She crouched down and scooped him up into her arms. His limbs felt like nothing but pure static. She carried him into the ship, the ramp already lowered and waiting for them, and then unceremoniously dumped him on the dock floor.

“Voice?” she yelled at the ceiling. “That’s your wake-up word, right? Chart a route to Nenov.”

“Neither ‘Lazarus’ nor ‘Makoi Leylasen’ found in the emergency contact list. Discarding command.”

Reactivating speech modules…

The rustle of fabric. Something clicked.

“Override emergency contact list or I shoot him.”

“N…” Seffie murmured.

“Threat to life detected. Preparing emergency broadcaster.”

“N-no, I’m okay,” Seffie forced out. “I wanna see Ikky again. Real quick before we go to Nenov.” He curled the fingers of his right hand in as a test. “Voice? Is my phone in my pocket?”

“Your phone is detected within the boundaries of the upper dock. Would you like me to ping it?”

“No, that’s okay. When’s the next refueling?”

“Next planned refueling: at satellite 24-B in orbit around Bryhista.”

“Good.” He grunted as he tried to push himself up- and failed. “Put the gun away, Lazarus. It’ll only be for a few days.”

“Why?”

“I already told you. Medical-”

“Don’t lie to me, Miralayan. Nobody just goes to Bryhista for shits and giggles.”

Calibration complete. Restoring control of all voluntary muscles…

“I’m not-”

“Bryhista’s nothing but wilderness. It’s where feral Tailtiutians go to die. Do you think you’re going to feed me to a lion? A tiger, perhaps, that you knew in a past life?” She cocked her head. “Do you even know what those things are, Miralayan?”

Seffie grunted and rolled onto his side and pushed himself up. His legs faltered- his feet wobbling, he steadied himself against the back of the couch.

“If I tell you, will you put the gun away?”

“Gladly. My arm tires. For a Miralayan, you’re awfully heavy.”

Seffie winced. “I told you already. I never really lived on Miralay. I grew up in Heavestone. Three houses down from where Eponine’s was, before the housefire that took his life.” He turned away from her, gaze shifting to the wall-window. “The whole town was practically overgrown. Everyone was living in makeshift treehouses. I saw lots of animals every day. Yes, of course I know what a damn lion is.” He grimaced. “My father could turn into one.”

“Your father is Tailtiutian?”

“Was. He went feral a long time ago. Left me the ship he snuck my mother off Miralay with.”

“I take it you can shapeshift as well?”

An almost-shadow passed over Seffie’s face. “So, uh, Ikky… One of my dads’ friends’ children. Xe’s better at technology than I ever could be. Xe made me this.” He reached into his shirt and pulled out the pendant, letting his fingers curl around it. “My brain-machine interface doesn’t know how to deal with my Tailtiutian genes, so it keeps accidentally aggravating my body to shift. The pendant sends counter-signals to it so I stay as close to… human as I can.” He grimaced. “Okay, I’m not human. But you know what I mean. My pendant constantly needs recalibration and recharging, or it’ll lose effectiveness and eventually stop working altogether, and I don’t know how to do either of those things.”

“So like a… pacemaker for a humanoid’s heart?”

“Something like that.” A crooked smile on his face, almost wistful, as he slipped the pendant back into his shirt. “I’m coming up on another recalibration. So I’d like to see Ikky again before we head off.”

“Else you’ll shift?”

“Permanently.”

“And go feral shortly after. I… see.” Lazarus slipped the gun back into her belt. “Your words are stronger than your muscles, I dare say. I’ll let you live another day. You’ve earned it.” She turned to leave. “I’ll be in the medbay.”

She went down the stairs to the lower level of the ship. Seffie let go of the pendant and stared out the wall-window at the abyss beyond, at Iawei gradually shrinking down and down back into the endless void of space.

Should I… follow her?

He shook his head. No. I’ll give her some privacy.

But it’s my ship-

Not if you get killed, no it isn’t!

Seffie plopped down on the couch, letting himself sink into the cushions. “Voice?”

“Yes, Captain Viridi?”

“Do we have enough fuel in reserve to hyperjump to Bryhista? I want to see Ikky. Now.”

“You seem to have a lower than normal body temperature. Are you experiencing emotional isolation?”

Seffie bit his lip. “Do we have enough fuel to hyperjump?”

“Fuel stores on satellite 24-B in orbit around Bryhista are reporting lower levels than usual. Restocking will take place in approximately one week. Hyperjumping from this location is not advised at this time.”

“How much longer until it is?”

“Approximately three hours.”

“I’ll wait.” He leaned over and laid down on the couch. “Voice, turn the lights off. Keep the medbay lit if Lazarus is still in there. Wake me up in three hours.”

The lights dimmed and then faded to naught. “Noted. Alarm set for two hours and fifty-seven minutes from now.”

5

The middle of summer in Heavestone. Crickets chirped outside his window long into the night, singing what they thought were their last goodbyes to the sun, not sentient enough to understand that it would keep coming back on and on and on long after their natural lives were over. The eager summer air rustled around them like a good friend coming in for a hug. Seffie opened the window for a few seconds, taking a whiff of fresh air before he shut the curtains again and sat down on his bed.

Everyone could feel the loop of time at the end of the world slowly disintegrating. Whatever forces had kept it working for as long as any of them could remember, they were long since gone, disappeared into the wind with the ashes of Eponine Westal’s house. With the ashes of Eponine, dissolved into the flames, taken in the night by their licking hot embrace. Burning bright on re-entry twice, burning brighter on departure.

“Seffie, it’s not safe here anymore. We need to leave.”

Ikky’s voice. A pair of muscular yet lithe arms wrapped around him from behind.

“Where would we go? This is the last safe place.” He found his hand creeping up to xir’s. “Don’t tell me we could just pack up and leave and go to one of the newly federated planets. I’ve got friends here.”

“Well…” One of xir hands unhooked from around his waist. Xir fingers crept up his arm, walking up to his shoulder. “I was thinking we could make another safe place somewhere else. The planet Bryhista, I was thinking. It’s plenty open- it’s been designated as a feral Tailtiutian nature reserve- so it’s not like there’s a ton of people breaking down the door to settle there.” Xe pulled xir fingers away and then tucked a stray lock of Seffie’s flaming-red hair behind his ear. “We could keep farming there. Just like with Eponine’s old garden before the… fire.”

“Well…” Seffie bit his lip, thinking. “Okay, maybe that could be fun. But only if you help me fix up my dad’s old ship.”

“The one you and him came down to Heavestone on?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“Really?” Ikky’s face practically lit up. “Oh, that’s wonderful, Seffie! I thought I was gonna have to sketch up some graphs, and write pages upon pages to convince you…” Xe shivered with excitement. “I’ll get started on the ship right away! There’s not a moment to lose!” Ikky’s arms retreated from Seffie. Footsteps pattered on the wooden floor as xe crouched down to climb down the treehouse ladder. “We’re gonna save all of Heavestone!”

Everything faded to black. He shivered and pulled his arms close, begging the ghost of Ikky’s touch- of the dream Ikky’s touch- to linger just a few more seconds so he could commit it to memory before it dissolved into the recycled cabin air.

He forced his eyes open. The crack of his eyelids was practically audible through his bones. The usual ensemble of stars greeted him outside the dock, little smudges against a backdrop slightly more dismal than the inside of his eyelids.

“Voice?” he croaked. “How much longer?”

“Approximately thirteen minutes left until the alarm you set.”

“Okay.” He closed his eyes and tucked his head tighter into his chest. “Cancel the alarm. I’m going back to sleep. Wake me up at refueling time.”

“Leading Orchidia System health experts recommend that you do the majority of your sleeping routine in a bed that properly supports your spine.”

“Mmm.”

“Would you like assistance in relocating your body to your bed?”

“Mmm,” he hummed, already half-asleep.

Something whirred in the ceiling, then whirred on the floor.

“Coming in.”

Seffie opened his eyes. There was a robot standing before him, soft orange lights glowing in a halo around the top bump that was supposed to resemble a head. It had two “arms”, permanently bent into an L-shape, black padding added to keep from hurting the people it was meant to carry.

Almost like a human forklift.

The arms lowered to the couch cushions’ level. Seffie groaned and rolled onto the arms. The robot whirred as it traversed through the deck, treads climbing the few stepped levels of the deck up to the captain’s quarters. The door automatically opened at their approach, letting the robot tread in and bring Seffie to his bed.

Seffie grunted and rolled onto the bed. The robot disappeared, most likely to be immediately consumed back into the ceiling, taken apart again into its individual modules and awaiting reconstruction like a kid’s toy.

He rolled onto his back. His limbs were too heavy with sleep to crawl under the sheets, so he just laid there, staring at the ceiling until his eyes slid shut again.

6

“Captain Viridi, we’ve arrived at satellite 24-B. Refueling will cost approximately 24 pennes.” A pause. “Assuming assent.”

Seffie grunted and pushed in the shower knob. The stream of water quickly withered and stopped. The hollow sound of the water rushing all around him, creeping up into every crack and crevice on the outside of his body, echoed in his ears as he pushed open the door and groped in the air for a towel.

“Are you in need of assistance?”

“N-no.” Something soft brushed up against his fingers. He yanked the towel over and rubbed at his eyes until the stinging was gone. His pendant swung from his neck, tapping the sensitive spot right by his sternum every now and then. “Remind me not to buy that brand of shampoo again.”

“Reason?”

“It stings,” he hissed. He stepped over and squinted at his reflection in the mirror. The ship jolted for a second as it docked with the satellite- he lost his balance, steadying himself against the bathroom door for a few seconds until he could stand again. He picked up his brush and started attacking his wet and tangled hair, red locks stuck flat on his skin and reaching down straight to his hips, volume temporarily lost from being logged down with water.

“What’s the weather like on Bryhista right now?”

“Weather report for Leithtemple Farm, planet Bryhista, sector 12, Orchidia System: twelve degrees Fahrenheit, heavy cloud cover, light snowfall expected until midnight tonight.”

Seffie groaned.

It’s going to be one of those visits again, isn’t it?

“Refueling complete,” Voice chimed. “Undocking and preparing for re-entry.”

Satisfied for the time being, Seffie set his brush down and started pulling his clothes on. Slightly damp from the washing mashine. The smell of the laundry pod he’d used wafted up to his nose as he wrestled the wet fabric on and straightened himself out. Covered up- to visiting standards, anyway- he cleaned everything up and went back to the window-wall at the deck.

There was heavy cloud cover, alright. One massive cloud stretching over the whole landmass, little slits here and there betraying lakes scattered among the virgin wilderness. The blue slowly overtook the black, bleeding all around them like food dye dripped in water.

Eponine thought this was magical, didn’t he? He faced the big blue without hesitation, even up against more fear than in all the Orchidia System.

I do not feel any fear. But… His fingers curled into his palms. I suppose who you’re plunging into it for makes all the difference.

The ship’s autostabilizer kicked in. The clouds overtook them without so much as a jolt or plunge in gravity. The trees were a miniature train set’s, almost plasticine from so far down, the few manmade structures still standing- most long-since abandoned- possibly hollow and just smooth material inside like the ones from his youth.

But the train set was long since packed up, languishing in a basement in the remnants of Heavestone.

Not that the materials were made to last the last parts of the loop of time catching up almost three hundred years.

The trees drew close enough that he could start to make out the individual branches. Seffie retreated from the dock and went down the stairs. He retrieved his cloak and boots from the cargo bay and pulled them on and plopped himself down on the bottom few steps.

“Voice?”

“Yes, Captain Viridi?”

“Where’s Lazarus?”

“In the medbay.”

“Can you tell her that she’s welcome to come inside to Ikky’s cabin? And if she wants to stay in the ship, restrict her access to everything but the cargo hold and the… medbay.”

“The chosen areas do not seem suitable for sustaining life.”

“If she wants to eat, she can come inside.”

“Noted. I will inform her right away.”

Voice fell silent. A few seconds later, the speaker in the medbay came to life, muffled through the walls. A scream of frustration followed soon after.

“Landing imminent. Bracing yourselves is advised.”

Seffie clutched the stairrail right above his right shoulder. He squeezed his eyes shut and braced himself- the ship quaked as the landing gear met the ground.

He opened his eyes again and pushed himself to his feet. The hatch opened up. He stood at the edge of the hatch as the ramp slowly lowered.

They were on a patch of compressed dirt. Dust kicked into the snow as Seffie stepped off the ship. His hair stuck close to his scalp, even under the hood. A gust blew by- he pulled his cloak closer and shivered. It was like the woods back at Heavestone, dense with trees but for the one clearing- but with most all the color sucked out. Brightness cranked up a bit, saturation turned down to near nil.

A figure was standing before him at the other end of the patch. Their gaze low to the ground, hood pulled far down over their face. A few tufted feathers poked out from under the blue fabric, white as the snow falling softly around them. Their cloak rustled gently around their ankles as a few tufts of wind brushed over the landscape.

A vast silence reigned over the land, interrupted only with the rare call of a bird above. Authority uncontested by the wild, but challenged as soon as Seffie stepped forward, boots crunching on the ground.

“I’m back, Ikky.”

Ikky raised xir head. What looked like two bird’s wings were crossed over xir face, obscuring xir eyes and part of xir cheeks.

“I’m… allowed inside, right?”

Xir voice stayed just as blank and expressionless as xir face. “Of course.”

Xe turned aboutface and went down the dirt path winding down to a lower part of the ground. Seffie followed xer. His eyes flickered to the lake down the hillside, silver water half-frozen sparkling to the horizon, and then to the side cabin door. Xe produced a key from inside xir cloak and unlocked the door and pushed it open, letting them in.

A blast of warm air slapped his face. His boots clacked on the hardwood floor as he stepped in. He blinked a few times as the door slammed shut behind him- nothing to get startled over.

The interior was much more spacious than the outside looked. To his right, down a few wide wooden stairs, was the main living room, a rickety table and a few chairs sitting in the corner beside the fireplace. To the left was a much smaller gathering area with an aging black couch, bordered on the other side by the front door and the shoe mat. In front of him was a tiny kitchen, little more than an island countertop and a portable stove shoved in the corner.

Ikky swept xir hand over the space. The little tealights scattered throughout the space lit up, flickering with simulated flame.

“I trust your pendant needs calibration?”

“Y-yeah.” Seffie pulled off his cloak and hung it on the hook by the door. He pulled off his boots. “My heart could use some, too.”

Ikky stayed silent, motionless except for xir breathing, barely perceptible.

Seffie sighed.

Yep. It’s going to be one of those visits.

He pulled off the pendant. Ikky turned around to face him. Xe extended xir hand, and Seffie dropped the pendant into xir open palm. Ikky turned and walked past the kitchen to the two bedrooms at the opposite end of the cabin without so much as a single word. Seffie followed Ikky, waiting until xe had closed the door and locked it to slump down and lean against the heavy wooden slab between them.

“There’s something that’s been on my mind recently,” he said. “And you don’t have to respond- at least, not right now. But I’m going to be here for three days, and then I’ll have to leave you again and go back to the stars.” He folded his hands, feeling every finger gently cross each other, tickling the pits between fingers, and then uncrossing them again. “You know, if you ever want to travel with me for a change, the offer still stands-”

A piercing hiss from behind the door.

“Okay! Okay! You don’t want to leave. I know. I’m just… worried. Same as always. That you’re languishing here, shrivelling up, withering away like everything else on this cursed planet.” He paused. “I care a lot for you, you know. And you should know that.”

Silence on the other end. A slight skritching- Ikky partially disassembling the pendant, most likely, to get at the internal electronics.

“But after I leave, I don’t know how long it’ll be before I can come back. I have a… very important delivery that’ll take me outside the Orchidia System. All the way to Nenov. Do you know anything about there?”

“Renowned for their doctors,” xe intoned. “I would think there are interplanetary ambulances more efficient than your ship. Assuming your delivery is human.”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Medical supplies, then. Probably. You should steal them for your medbay.”

“Steal-”

“You know my feelings towards your bourgeoisie employers. If sick rich men can afford treatment at Nenov, then they can afford a few more life extension treatments while a different shipment comes to them.” A chair squeaked- Ikky had probably stood up. “I don’t understand why you do it, Seffie. Why you work when you don’t have to. There will always be a place for you on my farm.”

“And there will always be a place for you on my ship.”

“An offer I must refuse.”

Seffie scowled. “There’s got to be more to life than just farming, Ikky. Farming and watching the sun rise and set the same ways again and again and again and burying your happiness in the ground beside the seeds you sow.”

“Your poetry flatters me. But there’s more to life than work.” Xe hissed, the slighest bit of venom in xir voice. “Living for your employers, dependent on them giving you their next paycheck. Always worried that the jobs will dry up, and the money with them.”

This is going nowhere.

“Are you done with the pendant yet?”

“Nearly,” Ikky said, voice back to flat. “You… sidetracked me.”

A few loud snaps, and then Ikky unlocked the door and opened it. Seffie rose to his feet and turned to face xer. Xe hung the pendant around his neck again, fingertips ice-cold as they brushed his neck and guided his hair out and through the ribbon.

Seffie shivered. His breath caught in his throat for a few precious seconds. Ikky’s hands retreated back under xir cloak.

“Gods, don’t you ever turn on the heat?”

Ikky stared blank-faced at him, the little wings still covering part of xir face.

“I mean, the heating in the cabin. I’m not trying to flirt.”

“Isn’t it cold in space?”

“I mean, yeah, in the actual space part. The inside of the ship’s way warmer than this, though.” He shivered again for good measure. “Please, Ikky.”

“I suppose I could fill the fireplace.” Ikky drifted past him like a ghost and went back to the cabin side door and slipped xir shoes back on. “Are you coming to chop wood with me?”

7

Seffie grunted as he hoisted the last few wedges up and into the wheelbarrow. He wiped the sweat beading on his forehead- not much heat to evaporate it, just hanging out on his skin instead like an awkward party. Ikky followed close behind as he pushed it up the hill along the worn path, dodging the branches that had fallen over the path in the few hours they’d been working.

Dead twigs, just like they’d been collecting. Not enough to keep a fire going all night. But then again, a fire that long might escape and burn them all down, so maybe it wasn’t the best of ideas.

They reached the little alcove beside the cabin, where a flat area was hollowed out from the hillside and a fire ring made of stones was set up. Seffie let go of the wheelbarrow, letting all the logs and twigs fall into the pile of other logs and twigs a little ways from the fire ring. Ikky shook xir head in silent disappointment, and Seffie sighed and picked up as many as he could fit in his arms and hauled them inside the cabin-

Lazarus was crouched over beside the bookshelf, perusing the collection of old magazines on the bottom shelf.

Ikky pushed past Seffie like a bullet and swooped on Lazarus. “Intruder-”

“No, no- she’s my guest,” Seffie squeaked, just as Ikky pinned the taller woman to the ground, xir fingers around her neck. “She’s fine, she’s not going to hurt anything-”

Ikky turned xir head to Seffie. “You brought an assassin to Bryhista?”

“You know her! You spoke with her last time I called you!”

Ikky paused, then let her go and retreated to the kitchen. Lazarus grimaced and rolled onto her feet.

“Lazarus, then. I’m not pleased to make your acquaintance, since your being here greatly increases the chance of police coming to Bryhista, but if Seffie insists on having you around, then I guess I’ll tolerate your presence.”

Lazarus sneered. “And people call me a bitch.” She rolled her eyes. “Three days of this, huh, Seffie?”

Seffie cringed. “I, uh…”

“Would you like a drink?” Ikky moved to the sink. Xe turned the tap on. Three small glass cups floated out of the cupboard and lined up at the faucet. “Do you prefer your tea cold or hot?”

Lazarus side-eyed Seffie, her upper lip curled. “Uh… Hot, I guess.”

“Noted.” Ikky started filling the cups. “Seffie, please get the fire started.”

Seffie’s face flushed. “Uh- yeah, right away.”

Seffie lumbered over to the fireplace and dumped the wood in. He reached up to the mantle and retrieved the jar of matches, lighting one and carefully setting some of the smaller twigs aflame. He set the jar back and lowered the small metal rack a few inches above the wood. Ikky came up right behind him- he stepped aside, letting his friend place the glass cups now filled with tinted liquid on the rack.

Ikky stepped back, xir back still to Lazarus. “Seffie, why is this woman with you?”

Seffie gulped. “I have to make a special delivery for her.”

“The delivery to Nenov. And this woman is threatening you with murder if you don’t comply?”

Lazarus tensed. “Don’t test me, Tailtiutian.”

The flames started to take hold in the bottom of the fireplace, twigs suggesting the alluring licks of heat to the logs above.

Ikky turned xir head just the tiniest amount. “So my assessment was right?”

“Lucky guess,” Lazarus sneered. “I’m going back to the ship. Have fun with your angst party, I guess.”

“I see.”

Lazarus left. The door banged shut behind her. Ikky crouched down to sit. Xe crossed xir legs and patted the space on the carpet to xir right. Seffie took his spot at xir side, pulling his knees in close to his chest. Ikky put xir hands in xir lap.

“I don’t trust that woman,” Ikky whispered. “It’s a miracle she hasn’t killed you yet.”

“I mean, at this point, if she killed me, she’d never leave Bryhista. Voice doesn’t take orders from anyone but me and you.”

“Voice?” The corner of Ikky’s mouth twitched. “Oh, the ship.”

Awkward silence fell around them. Seffie laid his head on Ikky’s shoulder. Ikky made no moves to shrug him off, instead just staring into the fire, watching the flames lick the sides of the logs. A soft pop in their hearing- one of the logs finally caught fire. Seffie reached one of his arms around Ikky’s back, pulling xer in close.

“Seffie,” Ikky whispered.

“Yeah?”

“I’m coming with you.”

Seffie perked up. “Really?”

“Just for this… delivery trip of yours. I fear it might not actually be a delivery trip.”

“W-what do you mean?”

“Someone on Nenov might have paid for Lazarus to bring you there. A personal murder instead of proxied. It would be irresponsible for me to let you walk straight into death.”

The fire sneezed- a bundle of sparks shot up into the chimney and disappeared.

Seffie rubbed his nose with his free hand. “I don’t think it’s a trap, but I’d love to have you sail with me anyway. And- oh! We can watch the stars together, and you can see my captain’s quarters, and I can show you all the cool space stuff I get to see everyday that you miss out here on the farm…”

“There’s barely any light pollution out here. One can see whole galaxies with the naked eye.” Ikky reached for Seffie’s free hand. Their fingers instinctively intertwined. “So maybe I haven’t been missing out on much at all.”

8

Light slowly filtered in behind Seffie’s eyelids. His arms shot out in front of him- nothing but the open air. His arms flopped to his sides- nothing on either end of him, just more sheets, surrounding him.

His eyes cracked open. A wet breath escaped his throat as he pulled himself up to sit. The bed was empty save for him, Ikky’s spot vacant, a slight divot still in the mattress from where xir body had lain. An unfamiliar smell wafted into the air- his nose twitched, and he forced himself out of bed, throwing open the bedroom door and stumbling out.

Ikky was standing in the kitchen. Xir hood was down. Xir hair was a mess of black strands, somewhat combed neat, coming to a sharp stop at xir jawline. The feathers around xir eyes were gone, only a few tucked into the hair behind xir ears, whole face exposed to the open air.

And what a lovely face it is.

“Good morning,” Ikky whispered, eyes staying focused on cracking white eggs into a pan on the portable stove. The yolks and whites alike sizzled as they dripped onto the hot metal. The shells went straight into a plastic pail to xir right marked COMPOST. “I take it you slept well?”

“Y-yeah.” Seffie climbed onto one of the high stools at the kitchen island, suddenly acutely aware that his sleep shirt had a prominent hole unraveling near the collar. “Thanks for making breakfast.”

“You say it as if there were any other option. This is just basic hospitality.” Ikky shook xir head. “It’s the least I could do for a big dumb like you.”

“A big what?”

“A big stupid dumb.” The ghost of a smile passed on Ikky’s face. “I figure now is as any good of a time to talk.”

Seffie’s palms started to sweat. “…Talk?”

“You’re not in trouble,” xir quickly added. “I was just… thinking. Wondering, perhaps. How much money do you have saved?”

Seffie flew to his feet. “Ikky-”

“You don’t want to be here. I can feel it. It makes you lonely. Too lonely. You… start remembering things you thought you repressed long ago-”

“Ikky, we are not having this conversation. You’re my friend. I’m not abandoning you. And I’m not tampering with my interface. End of discussion.”

A heavy silence fell between them. Seffie sat back on the stool. Ikky squinted xir eyes as xe flipped the eggs, taking care not to break the yolks.

“I’m sorry,” Seffie whispered.

Ikky gave no response.

Ikky turned xir head to the sky. The sun glinted from behind the heavy clouds, not quite bright enough to make xer look away, but enough that xir eyes started hurting. Xe turned xir glare away and swept xir eyes over the landscape- half an inch of snow, tree branches brushed ever so softly with the cold white death.

Seffie climbed up onto the balcony beside Ikky. Ikky bit xir lip, but made no move to stop him.

“What are you thinking about?”

Ikky tipped xir chin ever so slightly. “Ghosts.”

“Oh- uh-” Seffie let out an awkward laugh. “I was thinking about this one time I had to travel to Lestrater- you know, in Sector 3- to pick up a delivery, and my ship was starting to break down, and the guy whose package it was wanted me to have a free night in his hotel. So I went down to the communal showers downstairs, and it was peaceful, so I started working on my schedule in my head- and then this big douche walked in with a waterproof boombox and started blasting his music so loud I’m pretty sure everyone in the hotel could hear it.” Seffie grimaced. “What an asshole.” He glanced at Ikky, then focused in the general direction xe was staring, hoping they were looking at the same thing. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bore you.”

“You don’t bore me.”

“Are you still mad at me? From earlier?”

Ikky said nothing. Xe pushed xerself off the balcony and whirled xir cape around- a massive white gyrfalcon the size of a goose twirled off the deck and took to the air. His fingers found their way to his pendant, clutching it tightly in his fist as he watched the bird soar above the treetops and out of sight.

What good does being a duet do me? I can’t be part of the Sons of Eponine, and I’ll only ever be able to shift once, if at all…

He clenched his jaw. This is all my life is ever going to be, isn’t it? Just being dependent on the goodwill of others-

Stop it, Seffie! Ikky’s just… being Ikky. He glanced around. Colors aren’t the only thing this place drains.

9

Something banged on the door- and then it flew wide open, Lazarus stumbling inside, letting the door slam shut behind her. The whole cabin seemed to rattle in response. “I want my damn tea.”

Seffie glanced up from his spot on the floor. Ikky’s hands flew to xir cape, pulling xir hood back down and covering xir face with the wings.

“I drank it,” Ikky said, voice flat. “It’s no good cold.”

Lazarus groaned and threw her head back. “Okay, okay! Damn Tailtiutians. Hey- why do you keep hiding your face, anyway?”

Ikky bared xir fangs. “Don’t test me, human.”

“Oh- you think you’re so superior, huh?” Lazarus stepped forward. “Just because you can turn into an animal and prance around in the wild? Well-”

Lazarus lunged for Ikky. Ikky stepped back- and Lazarus swung her arm forward, her fingers clawing into one of Ikky’s wings, shredding it apart with her nails.

Feathers spilled out all over the floor. Ikky’s hand flew to the exposed side of xir face.

Seffie rolled over, pulling himself to his feet. “What the hell-”

Ikky sucked in a deep breath. “Go.”

“What-”

“Get out of my sight!” Ikky turned away. “Both of you! And Seffie, don’t come back until whatever obligations you have to that woman are done.”

“…Now?”

“Yes! Now!”

Seffie’s chest heaved. He turned to Lazarus. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Lazarus shrugged. “Don’t look at me. You’re the one who wanted to take a detour.”

Seffie let out a deep sigh. “I’m sorry, Ikky.”

“I know you are.”

He turned and slipped his shoes and cloak on and left the cabin. Heavy snowfall immediately pelted him in the face, miniscule icy daggers digging into his skin. The door slammed shut behind him. Lazarus followed him as he trudged back onto the ship.

“Voice?”

“Yes, Captain Viridi?”

He hung his cloak on the hook in the cargo hold. His hand lingered on the metal hook, fingers slipping away only when Lazarus stomped back into the medbay. “Prepare to leave for Iawei.”

“You still have two days scheduled for Ikky-”

“I know!” His throat jumped as a small cry slipped out. He balled his fists, trying to keep his face from crumpling right then and there. “I know. We’re leaving early.”

“You appear distraught. Would you like to do some deep breathing exercises?”

“N-no. No thanks.”

He climbed up the staircase and hid his face from the dashboard as he slipped into the captain’s quarters. He flopped onto his bed face-first. The ship jolted as it took off.

Now what? I only have a month before my pendant runs out again.

That’s not enough time to go to Nenov and back, is it?

“Voice?” he yelled into his pillow.

“Yes, Captain Viridi?”

Seffie lifted his head. “How long will a round-trip to Nenov last?”

“Approximately twelve days each direction with a hyperjump, shortened from fifteen days.”

That’ll be close…

“Cancel the next package pickup. We’re going straight to Nenov.”

“Noted. Recalculating route. Is there a reason you would like to give for cancellation?”

“No.”

“Cancelling package pickup now. Your schedule is empty.”

Voice fell silent. He pushed himself back up to sit- and then rolled off the bed and stormed out of the room, all the way down to the medbay.

He threw the doors open. “You better have a damn good explanation for all this, Lazarus!”

The woman jumped in surprise- She tugged on the ceiling curtains, pulling them shut around the main table. “Seffie! You little-”

“What is it? What’s behind the curtain?”

“That’s none of your business, you little cretin!”

“It’s my ship!” He stomped his foot, making the tools hanging from the walls clatter. “You show me now!”

“Fine, you petulant child! I’ll just warn you right now, it’s rather graphic.”

“As is everything! I mean… as opposed to walls of text scrolling everywhere…” He shook his head. “Never mind that!”

Seffie stomped forward and threw the curtains open again.

A… mannequin? Like the CPR training ones?

He stepped closer.

It’s… breathing?

No… That’s not-

His stomach turned upside down and plummeted through his bowels.

Laying there on the table was… a person.

Half a person.

Maybe only a quarter, depending on the judge.

Its limbs had been crudely hacked off at the hip and shoulders.

Eyes and nose and mouth- its whole face, really… gone, simply gone, a flat blank sheet of skin.

The lower jaw had been removed, skin stretched over the expanse where the mouth should have been.

A tiny hole in the front of its neck for it to breathe out of.

“What-” His throat tightened. His hands flew to his eyes, a tiny crack through his fingers, revolted and yet unable to look away. “Lazarus, what the hell is that?”

His lungs suddenly compressed, all the air pleading to flee from his body.

“Is… Is that…”

“A person, yes.” Lazarus grimaced. “She went missing five years ago.” Her face went distant. “Parents said it was a kidnapping, clear and simple. Police refused to do anything about it, even though they knew exactly who the bloody man was, where he lived, where he was keeping her.” She sucked in a wet breath, more full of rage than anything resembling sadness. Her fingers curled to fists. “I finally got my revenge, thanks to you. I just… wish she’d been murdered instead. Nobody deserves… this. This is a fate worse than death.”

The room tipped upside down.

“So, you’re going to Nenov to… fix her?”

Lazarus rolled her eyes at Seffie’s trembling. “You should’ve stayed upstairs, Miralayan.”

“Aren’t you scared of her?”

“Nah. It’s all just a dull rage now.”

Seffie gulped. “I, uh… I’ll help you, Lazarus. I’ll get you to Nenov.”

10

Laika the Narrow-Minded,

Laika the Incomplete!

She manipulates her friends through lies

and can’t admit defeat!

The cold water lapped at xir skin. Xe squeezed xir eyes shut and pulled xir legs in and bit xir tongue, begging xir body, pleading with it not to shiver, not to give in to the primal urges of the cold.

"Laika?”

The cold stung. Colors blossomed behind xir eyelids, blood vessels pumping through the thin skin, almost like a fireworks display, continuous and lasting as long as xir life.

“Hey, Laika. You came!” yelled a chipper voice. Splashing somewhere in front of xer, slightly to xir left. "Laika? What’s wrong?”

“Laiiika!” whined a little girl’s voice. “It’s been forever!”

“You’re not real,” Ikky whispered. A breeze picked up. Waves pulled at xir bare arms, bare legs, surrounding xir body like a blanket of ice.

“What do you mean?” the younger voice said. “Of course we’re real! We’re talking to you, aren’t we?” A hand patted xir shoulder. “Come on! Let’s go see Ghost and Kamui and all the others!”

“You’re not real,” Ikky hissed through xir teeth.

“What? Afraid of a little walk through memory lane?” A chuckle. “You’re the same as ever, Laika. Stubborn until the end.”

“Don’t call me that!”

A soft hand caressed xir face. “Will you at least give me the pleasure of seeing your eyes before you dismiss me?”

Ikky bit xir lip. “No.”

“Why ever not?” the older voice crooned.

“You’re not real. You’re just a f-figment of my imagination.”

“Maybe so, but that implies that your imagination is something separate from yourself. That your imagination is not real.” The hand reached under Ikky’s chin, lifting xir head up. Ikky desperately kept xir eyes squeezed shut, lips trembling. “If you stay here too long, you’ll catch a cold. We’ll catch a cold, and then we’ll all die. So let’s go inside, shall we?”

“You’re not real.”

“You keep saying that.” The older voice sighed. “If you honestly believed it, you would stop bothering to reply to us.”

Ikky took a deep breath and shook the hand off and plunged xir head underwater.

Water rushed in. Two cold watery fingers lodged themselves in xir ears- Ikky let out a cry and lifted xir head up and opened xir eyes. The sun was starting to set in the sky, casting orange hues over everything- xe was sitting in a lake of rippling gold as far as the eyes could see.

Xe took a deep breath. Beads of icy water ran down xir bare back. Xir hair stuck to xir scalp, a chilly rag tied tight to xir skull. Xe held xir hands out- xir skin was starting to lose its color. Riverine, almost, veins in all their red and blue glory peeking through xir skin.

A deep breath almost hurt to suck in. Ikky threw xir head back and let out a scream, ringing through the lonely woods.

Where are you?

Here I am.

Who are you?

I am me.

What are you?

I am myself.

Why are you?

.

.

.

You don’t know why you’re here?

11

A single screen hung in front of his face. Half covered up by the list of people trying to sign up for package shipments and their preferred dates, the other half a wall of plaintext. His eyes scanned over both panels one last time.

“Are you ready to sleep, Captain Viridi?”

Are you ready to become a naked popsicle, Captain Viridi? more like.

Nothing on the screen was amiss. Seffie opened his eyes. The curved walls of the sleeping pod surrounded him: the curved dome, translucent, the ceiling of the medbay vague above; the walls on either side of him, almost pressing in on his body; the curved seat on which he lay, caressing his body from underneath like a foam mattress. The ship whirred outside the pod, systems winding down and going into low-power mode to prepare for the longest trip Seffie could ever remember making.

Not that I can remember much of anything, anyways.

“Lazarus is already sleeping, right?”

“Correct, Captain Viridi.”

Right. She squirmed, didn’t she? And swore at me until the pod closed.

“Would you like a dream to settle you into sleep?” Voice pinged.

“Y-yes, please.”

“Noted. Are you ready to sleep?”

He closed his eyes. “I’m ready.”

Seffie let his head fall back on the soft pad under him. Little pinpricks settled all over his skin like he’d laid down in the middle of a snowstorm, coating everything but his hands and his head in blue particles, just like he’d seen in the manual for the sleeping pod, two generations improved from the ones from Eponine’s time. Green and blue lights softy pulsed outside his vision, alternating, growing dimmer and dimmer as the freezer kicked in and blew fierce all over his body. Goosebumps shot up all over his skin, angry at first but slowly succumbing to the cold.

Warning: Sensory signals diminishing.

Warning: Sensory signals diminishing.

Warning-

Seffie was just a ball, an orb, floating in darkness. No touch, no sight, no sound but for a fierce roaring. From behind, in front, all around, all encompassing.

A… lion?

Father!

No… Not a lion, I don’t think. Something else.

Maybe water?

A faint outline started to draw itself on the blank canvas of his sight. A long line stretching from one end of the horizon to the other. A river- a disgusting river, water mottled and brown, paper towels a few shades darker floating crumpled up and soggy within.

What-

The clatter of dishes behind him. A conveyor belt in a flat oval, one end almost completely covered by an arcane metal box. White dishes went in; slightly more white dishes came out.

He stared at his hands. His gloved hands, latex coming just short of his wrists, puckered from pulling on it too hard.

Oh, of all the dreams you could have given me to start with…

ACT 2

INTERLUDE

12

Ikky flapped xir wings and settled xerself on the tree branch. Xir claws curled around the thick wood, just barely enough for the front and back talons to touch. The rest of the tree rustled, shaking some of the snow down to the ground below, covering up some of the hoof tracks from the deer who’d run by there several hours earlier.

Xe turned xir head to the sky. Just the same mottled collection of gray and white clouds roaming across the sky, aimless, wandering forever around and around Bryhista.

And then-

A crack in the clouds. A small sliver of the blue beyond, light spilling down in gold rivers, just for a few seconds before it was swallowed up by the clouds again.

Ikky jumped off the branch and took to the air. Sailing above the treetops, xe could see that there were no other human structures- actively-inhabited ones, anyway- for as far as xir eyes could see. Just a never-ending wilderness.

Do you ever think, maybe, one day, Seffie could join us here? I wager he’d have a lot of fun romping around under the trees. Pouncing on things, and wailing, and wagging his tail like an Earthen’s cute little dog…

Shifting isn’t the problem for him. Shifting back… I haven’t quite figured that one out yet.

Xe dipped a bit in the air- xe flapped her wings to regain the lost height.

If there were some way for me to reverse-engineer the software in his interface and get the source code, then maybe there would be a way for me to find exactly what parts are aggravating his cells and strip them out.

But then I’d have to find a way to compile the code all over again and get it back into his interface…

Xe dipped xir right wing and veered to the right, taking a turn towards the lake. Glittery and silver, lapping at the sandy shores, vegetation long since washed away in the erosion.

With as little downtime as possible, so I don’t accidentally stop his heart or something equally disastrous.

Oh, Seffie…

13

“Seffie…”

The inky void.

“Seffie?” A dull thump, thump, thump. “Seffie, you’re still alive, right?”

A tiny red pinprick against the black, slightly off-center to the right.

“Hey, Voice or whatever you’re called. Is he dead?”

“Defrosting of Captain Viridi has not yet completed. Continuing brain level reduction sequence.”

“Uh…” A nervous chuckle. “Could you maybe hurry it up a bit? Do you- maybe-” A scuffling on the floor tiles. “You got a hairdryer somewhere around here?”

“There are no hairdryers on this ship. You are not authorized to override safety locks.”

“Yeah, well-” Dull hard pounding. “I’ve been sleeping for enough of my life. I want to get my sister into treatment today.”

“You are not authorized to override safety locks.”

“Yeah, well, am I authorized to override this?”

A loud bang- a crackle-

Everything went to red. He was a lone scrap thrown into a blaze, a mere leaf in a wildfire, crumpling up to ash in mere seconds. The warmth snaked up his limbs like a thunderbolt, deep through his veins, boiling from his fingertips straight up to his neck.

Seffie let out a pitiful cry.

“Wakey wakey, sweet prince.”

“Threat to life detected. Preparing emergency broadcaster.”

“We’re outside the Orchidia System, you dumb fucking ship. Nobody within range to get the signal even uses the protocols to understand it.” Lazarus sneered. “Besides, I’m resurrecting him, not killing him.”

His throat slowly unstuck. The air slogged in like molasses, inflating his almost-flattened chest under the last lingering frost. He could almost hear an audible crack as his eyes opened- his skin was practically a sky-map of Bryhista, hueless grays and whites, almost bordering on blue.

An… an angel above me?

“Did I die?” he whispered.

“Shut up, Serlis. Miralay is millions upon millions of miles away. You’ll live.”

Seffie grimaced. He flexed his fingers- his sense of touch was just barely there, more like thick floppy rubber gloves poking at his palms instead of himself.

“What? You need someone to lift you out like a baby?” Lazarus rolled her eyes. “Gods, you really are a Miralayan. Following in Serlis’ helpless footsteps, right down to the thawing performance. Should I get you an acting award?”

Seffie scowled. “Glad I have two hearts, then, because apparently one isn’t enough to care like a decent person.” His eyes rolled around. “You- you shot my sleeping pod?”

“I’ll pay for the repairs.”

Seffie groaned. “Okay- okay, fine.” He wiggled. His limbs responded just the slightest bit, bumping into the sides of the pod. “For real, though, can you help me out?”

“Should I fellate you about being the Providence while you’re at it?”

“That’s not funny.”

“I’m not aiming for comedy genius of the year.”

Seffie glared.

Lazarus sighed. “Okay, fine.”

She crouched down and unlocked the broken lid of the sleeping pod and threw it open. She grabbed Seffie’s hands and tugged him up, raising him from the pod like a stiff corpse from the dead- and then some of the frost on his legs shattered, and his knees buckled, and he tumbled out of the pod and onto the floor, making more of the frost shatter.

“O-ow.” He bit his lip. “Voice?”

“Yes, Captain Viridi?”

“Raise the temperature by a few degrees. Let Lazarus get her sister and get out.”

“I need you to carry some things. Else I would have let you… thaw on your own.”

Seffie closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. “Joy.”

14

Seffie hoisted the bulky chest into his arms. He turned to the exit- Lazarus grabbed his ear and tugged him back over.

“No, idiot. Where’s the airlock?”

“Air… lock? I thought we were on-”

“Nenov’s a different kind of planet. Where’s the airlock?”

Seffie rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. “Voice? Are we… docked?”

“We are docked to Station 13, planet Nenov.”

“Station…” He turned back to Lazarus. “I don’t understand. Why are we docked at a planet?”

“Just go to the stupid airlock,” Lazarus hissed.

Seffie gritted his teeth and hoisted the chest up the stairs. He immediately took a right at the dock, crossing over the space to the opposite side of the room from the captain’s quarters to where a domed door stood. Seffie stomped his foot- the doors opened, greeting them with six feet of space between them and… another door.

They stepped in. The ceiling lights pulsed green- and then the first door closed behind them. Something hissed. The second door opened, letting them into Nenov.

They were in a tunnel of glass. Seffie gulped. The world shifted under his feet. It was a giant moon-shaped metal contraption, vaguely resembling a sphere, extending below him for thousands upon thousands of miles below.

He forced his gaze in front of him and kept walking behind Lazarus.

Keep walking.

They passed through another set of circular doors. They entered a massive sphere of marble, extending what almost seemed like forever above Seffie’s head, yet no more than a mere speck compared to the rest of the planet. Inside was pitch-black.

Keep walking.

His eyes slowly adjusted. A green-lit city in eternal night, like a poor imitation of a cyberpunk’s wet dream. They stepped along the wet roads in silence, dodging the puddles, their ears filled with the sounds of the city bustling somewhere in the near distance.

Keep walking-

“Isn’t someone going to say something if they see you? I’m not really in the mood to get arrested for helping a criminal-”

“I’m not illegal here,” Lazarus cut in. “They love me here. That’s why I’m bringing Astram here.”

“Who- oh, your sister.”

“Yeah. And pull your stupid hood off! Nobody cares you’re a Miralayan here.”

Seffie shook his hood off his head, letting it flop down. They fell silent again as they crossed the road. Strangely enough, there were no cars to be seen- or buses- or pedestrians, for that matter. All of the buildings were sandwiched close in together, one large unit per block.

They took an immediate right at the next intersection. Lazarus elbowed the first door she saw and walked in.

Seffie’s eyes wandered up, all the way to the run-down building’s roof. Not quite at the point of collapse, but certainly heading there.

And- he noticed- there wasn’t a single star in the sky to see.

He took a deep breath and stepped in. There was a staircase immediately to his right. It twirled around, so he couldn’t see the end of it, but he caught the last few steps of Lazarus as she disappeared down. He hoisted the chest back up in his arms, renewing his grip, and carefully started the descent.

The final step. He took a deep breath and set the chest down, delicate as a feather, and wiped the sweat off his forehead. The basement, from what he could see, was empty.

An… operating room?

I mean, I guess it would make sense…

A side door opened. Out popped Lazarus and a shady man in a white shirt printed with blue flowers, rubbing his hands together.

Yeah, this isn’t suspicious at all.

“Oh! You must be the Seffie dear Makoi was telling me about.” The shady man chuckled. His voice was gruffer than Seffie expected. “Doctor Almes. I trust that you’ll be staying here on Nenov?”

“Uh…” Seffie turned to leave. “I’m sorry. I have prior commitments.”

Lazarus pulled out her gun. “Bullshit.”

Seffie froze.

Threat to life detected. Calculating safest route of escape.

“You’re staying here on Nenov so I have a ride back to the Orchidia System.”

“W- Aren’t there other pilots you could blackmail into free rides?”

Lazarus gritted her teeth. “You’re on thin fucking ice, Miralayan. One more step towards that staircase, and you’re dead, and that ship’s mine.”

“It won’t respond to you if I’m dead-”

“Makoi!” Dr. Almes put a hand on her shoulder. “Let this poor man go.”

“He made a promise to stay with me.”

N-no I didn’t-

“Oh… That’s a different thing altogether.” Dr. Almes clucked. “Sorry, kid. A promise is a promise-”

Something shattered the next room over. Dr. Almes and Lazarus reflexively turned-

Go!

Seffie took off running up the staircase. Lazarus cursed at him- he took the stairs two steps at a time, three, stumbling to the top of the stairway-

Cross the street, then take the nearest right.

A map of Nenov popped up in the lower-right corner of his vision. He nodded his head and burst out of the house and stepped onto the street-

Fire exploded in his bones. He collapsed. His tongue immediately flooded with the taste of blood.

“Miralayans aren’t illegal here, that’s true,” Dr. Almes said. “Tailtiutians, though- and a hybrid of both, at that! Far more interesting outside the court of law.” He chuckled. “It appears I’ve caught my own Bigfoot.”

Seffie’s vision swam. Above him, the doctor crouched down close enough that Seffie could see the stubble on his chin and yanked the stun dart out of Seffie’s leg. It was tiny, smaller than his pinky fingernail, a little needle that Dr. Almes flicked behind him into the gutter. The air around him settled into not darkness, but static- popcorn from a TV station gone silent, settling all over his skin like a blanket made of buzzing bees.

ACT 3

SUBSTANCE AND PASSION

15

It happened sometime in the night. He dissolved into the static, letting it overtake his body. His thoughts were a mere afterthought, just a loud buzzing in his mind, sedating him into an odd rhythm with his surroundings. The air didn’t smell particularly odd; neither did the static taste like much of anything. But eventually it took his ears and his mouth too, leaving only a pair of eyes to gaze out into the void.

And then it took his eyes too, and the buzzing tapered off, and all was dark, and all was silent.

But he was still there. Not unconscious, just unfeeling. Like his brain had been scooped out of his body and made to live on its own. Forever trapped within himself, forever only with the information already inside his own mind. Nothing out, nothing in.

All… alone.

Maybe he’s operating on me too.

It didn’t seem very clean in there…

Well, I don’t appear to be dead yet. Or if I’m dead, then apparently I didn’t get the memo.

“Hey, Seffie! Or whatever the hell your name is.”

He thought to turn around- but he didn’t have a body to turn around.

That’s… the doctor, right?

“Okay, your brain levels say you’re receiving and processing sound, so that’s better than I expected. You’re not dead! Congratulations.” Dr. Almes coughed. “I don’t know how much you’re comprehending, especially since these shitty sound drivers keep dropping out-”

Something thunked.

A keyboard smash?

“Haven’t seen software this buggy since I worked on Miralay. And- what a coincidence!- whoever cleared the firmware in your interface for release was clearly sleepin’ on the job. But that’s just Miralayans for ya. Also… your pendant’s broken.”

A red streak shot across Seffie’s vision.

I- what-

“Whoa! Okay, you’re definitely conscious. So, uh…” He coughed again. “I got most of the functions in your interface to shutdown. Some of them were working in overdrive when the pendant broke, so those went first. Problem is, they’re also hardcoded in as dependencies essential for full consciousness, and I don’t have the signing keys to rewrite the firmware, so the only way for me to keep you from shifting into your animal form right now is to keep you sedated like this. And I don’t know how to fix the pendant, so in other words, shit’s screwed.” His clothes rustled- probably shrugging. “My fullest apologies, kid. Sucks to be a Tailtiutian, doesn’t it?”

“You could ask Ikky! Xe’d fix the pendant for you.”

How did I say that? I don’t have a mouth-

“Eh? Who’s Ikky?”

“My, uh… friend. Xe lives in Bryhista. Xe made my pendant. But xe’s a Tailtiutian, so I don’t know if xe’d be safe here…”

“A Tailtiutian, eh? I’ll see what I can do for your pretty friend. No promises, though. Oh, and your ship left without you. Better pray that it’s on route to that Bryhista right now.”

Footsteps, growing softer, and then a door closing.

Well… what now?

Did he leave the network capabilities on? Maybe I could call Ikky and find out what’s going on…

Come to think of it, how many days have I been unfeeling?

Ping… ping… ping…

It’s looking to be a meshnet. No outside connections are going through. And I don’t know the address for the outproxy, assuming someone’s running one…

Dammit! How-

“H-hi!”

16

A drop of water dripped onto xir nose. A ripple of chills went through xir body, but xe just clenched xir fists harder, knuckles almost as white as the surrounding snowfall.

“You know, one of these days, you’re going to have to come clean, right?”

“You’re not real,” Ikky whispered.

“Oh, please. We’re as real as you make us. And since you keep coming back here to talk to us, that makes us pretty real, don’t you think?”

“Y-you’re not real.”

“Why are you sitting buck-naked in the middle of this forest, anyways? Seems rather… provocative.” A chuckle. The tree branches above rustled. “Come, now. You look hungry. Let’s get some dinner, shall we?”

Ikky shook xir head. “You’re just a remnant of a worse time. I don’t have to listen to you.”

“Now, a remnant…” The voice purred. “I can’t deny that. But that implies that I’m a part of a greater whole. Me, Rinea here-” the younger voice winced as the owner of the older voice elbowed her- “and you. Laika.”

“Don’t call me that,” Ikky hissed.

“You used to let us call you that. You used to rejoice whenever your friends called you that. Names mean a lot, Ikky. You can’t just discard your name and pretend that it’s completely separate from you, that it’s just a word we use to refer to you.” He cupped Ikky’s face with his hand. “We miss you, Laika. Your friends miss you.”

“I’m not Laika anymore!” Ikky yelled, xir voice echoing into the forest. “And I never was! It’s just you and the whole twisted lot trying to make me into another piece of your fucked up delusions!”

“Do you really believe that?”

Ikky clenched xir teeth and opened xir eyes.

Standing before xer were two people. A boy about xir age, soft gray hair falling down to his jawline, clad in a black cloak sweeping down to his ankles, a stark contrast to the snowy landscape beyond. And a little girl, lengthy blue hair as vivid as her eyes done up in two high ponytails, each one tied off and adorned with a clearly fake blue flower in full bloom. She shivered in her fluffy coat, mittens wearing holes near the fingers.

“You used to block me from using all the satellite data talking to people,” Rinea chirped. “Don’t you remember? You made a special warning screen just for me.” She put her hands on her hips and puffed out her chest. "'Kay and Laika are worried about you. Do your work first, and then you can play all you want!’” She deflated. “But… you don’t do that anymore.”

“You shouldn’t haunt me anymore.”

Tears beaded in Rinea’s eyes. “I don’t understand, Laika! What did we do wrong? Why don’t you want us around anymore? We’re a part of you!”

Ikky took a deep breath and pushed xerself up to xir feet, not caring that xe was stark naked.

“You’re a part of my past. Stay there. It’s where you belong.”

Kay opened his mouth to speak- but Ikky just turned around and left without a word more.

17

“H-Hello?” Seffie shouted into the void. “Am I going insane?”

“That’s a really good question,” the voice chimed back, more cheerful than anything else. “Uh… I don’t think so. Unless you’re a new part of me, which I heard can happen with extreme trauma- but I’m so glad you’re here! You finally showed up! Now I don’t have to feel so alone.”

Seffie let out a nervous laugh. “I, uh…”

She doesn’t sound like Voice. Assuming she’s even a she. And, if Dr. Almes is trustworthy, my ship already left, so it can’t be Voice talking to me…

“Hold up, let me try something…”

A mouth popped up into existence a few meters away from Seffie. Its lips were round and full and slightly pink, tapered at the edges like a child’s.

“There! That’s better.”

“I- what-” A weird sound escaped Seffie’s mouth, somewhere in between a cry and a laugh. “You’re like that… that old Earthen tale. The Shessie cat, or something like that.”

“Cheshire,” the mouth corrected him. “A mouth’s all I can manage for now. I’ve only had this interface for a day or so. Dr. Almes says that I shouldn’t exert myself too hard while he’s making me alive again.”

“…Alive? Wait- if I don’t have eyes, how can I see you?”

“You do have eyes. I can see them. They’re nice and round and red. Although maybe Dr. Almes should give you some eyelids sometime. You’re kinda creeping me out, just staring like that…”

“But how can you see me without eyes of your own?”

“How are you talking if you don’t have a mouth?”

Damn, she’s right.

The mouth puckered. “Well… All of me’s here. All of me’s always been here. Even though there are bits and pieces of me all over the galaxy now. I just can’t make you see the whole me yet, since I’m not a whole right now. Or a hole.” The mouth suddenly jerked into a grimace. “I’ll never be a hole again!”

A pause.

“Astram.”

“You- you know my name!”

“You’re that girl Lazarus made me transport all the way here.”

“…Lazarus?”

“Your sister?”

“I… huh.” The lips thinned for a moment, thinking. “I’ll have to ask Dr. Almes next time he talks to me.”

“Hey, where are we, anyway?”

The mouth circled around Seffie, dipping and bobbing in the air as it joyrided around the lone pair of eyes. “I’m calling it the Wired! Because I’m getting a lot of wires. Dr. Almes told me. I’m gonna get all new limbs, and they’ll be super robotic and strong, and I’ll be able to crush the heads of anyone who tries to hurt me ever again!” The mouth grinned wide. “And then you can see me, and maybe I’ll be able to see you- if Dr. Almes gets the wires just right!”

18

The soup started to bubble on the stove. Ikky let out a long sigh and tore xerself away from the window, where a triad of birds were squabbling over the last few seeds in the dented birdfeeder hanging from the deck outside. Xe took the pot off the burner and set it on the potholder, which was little more than various scraps of fabric hastily sewn together into a square.

Seffie…

“You won’t run away while I check on something, will you?” xe whispered to the pot.

The pot, understandably, didn’t respond.

“It’s alright. I know how you feel.”

Ikky slipped into xir bedroom and flicked the switch on the side of the desk. A few red lights flickered on, staying steady for a few seconds before turning green and then shutting off altogether. The beat-up monitor showed static, and then lines of text whirred by faster than xir eyes could comprehend.

Then there was the command prompt.

bryhista.localhost login:

And an underscore after, blinking, ready for input.

Ikky logged in. Without thinking, xir fingers flew over the keyboard, tapping out the same string of numbers as xe’d done for what felt like countless years.

The screen went blank.

A robotic voice answered on the other end.

“You have reached the Viridian Shipping Company’s interplanetary phone number. We are currently not accepting new business at this time. To leave a message or access emergency options, please wait until the beep to begin speaking.”

Seffie never lets the phone go to voicemail. Not even if he’s sleeping.

A high-pitched tone. Ikky’s hands flew to xir ears until it was gone.

“Voice? Is Seffie okay?”

“Emergency contact ‘St. Icarus’ detected. On route to Bryhista for retrieval.”

Heat rushed into Ikky’s cheeks.

Of all the nicknames…

“Retrieval- what’s going on, Voice?” A familiar pang in xir chest. “Is Seffie okay?”

“Emergency report: Captain apprehended at Nenov, Outer Regions. Potentially life-threatening situation. On route to Bryhista for retrieval.”

Oh, Lazarus, you absolute bastard-

I should have gone with him. Xe kicked xerself under the table. I’m an idiot. An absolute idiot.

“Wait- are you coming to retrieve me?”

“Contact lost with interface-stabilizing device. Emergency contact listed as medical provider.”

Oh, Seffie…

Ikky jumped up from the desk and slid over to xir dresser. Xe threw the top drawer open- several jelly jars clattered to the front. Various-sized coins jingled within each one, a strip of masking tape over where the labels had been, faded and smudged permanent marker showing the date they’d been interred. Xe pulled one out and returned to the desk, turning the jar over and over in xir hands, letting the discordant clinking fill xir ears.

The one time in my life I’ve been glad to have money.

What was it called again? The high-speed thing- the thing where the ship goes really fast-

“Do you have enough fuel for hyperjump?”

“Refueling in approximately three hours. Hyperjump will not be possible until then.”

“Come straight here. Make as few stops as safely possible.”

Ikky disconnected the call. The screen went back to the command prompt. Ikky shut down xir computer and returned to the kitchen. Xe set the jar down on the kitchen island and returned to the pot, staring down into its murky contents.

I should have harvested the beans earlier…

“You’re going to leave?”

Ikky jumped back in surprise, brushing the pot handle, almost knocking it over. At the sight of the familiar blue pigtails, xe shook xir head and assumed xir usual stony face.

“Rinea.”

“Answer my question!” Rinea pouted and stomped her foot. “Where are you going? Can we come with you? Can I help pack-”

Ikky waved xir hand. “Shush! If I had any choice in the matter, I’d tell you to stay here. Both of you. Go… harass Kay or something.”

Rinea swayed. “Come on, Laika!”

“That’s not my name,” Ikky hissed, returning xir attention to the pot.

Rinea ignored xer. “Are we gonna go on a journey? Oh- are we gonna slay a big dragon? A big, ugly, disgusting-”

“Don’t push it.”

Rinea slumped. “We used to have such fun together…”

“Yeah, you parading around the internet with my name, doing the dumbest shit possible to make your friends feel sorry for you. What fun.”

“They were your friends too!”

“My friends don’t emotionally abuse me into making my sense of identity dependent on their validation.” Ikky glared at the little girl standing just outside the kitchen. “My friends love me for who I am. And who I am is not you.”

19

Reconnecting to meshnet…

“Seffie! You’re back! Oh, and we both have noses this time!”

Seffie glanced down. Floating right under his disembodied eyes was, in fact, a nose. Short and squashed and patchy, just like outside the Wired.

Just like in real life.

He glanced up. Accompanying the wide mouth was a triangular nose, almost perfectly symmetrical.

“Are you in here all the time?”

“There’s… not much else I can go here. There’s a news page…” A square screen floated over to them out of nowhere, showing a very basic black-on-white webpage with a list of links. “I’m having a hard time navigating it, though. Everything here on Nenov is so… recursive. And there’s no bookmarks, so you just have to keep tracing the same paths over and over and over again.”

The mouth flattened into a straight line as Astram navigated through the pages, flicking through news articles too fast for Seffie to catch anything more than the headlines.

Celebrating two hundred years of Outer Region independence, and a look into the future of the federation…

Air Quality Report for Quarter Six

Several Tailtiutians Arrested at Station 72 in Southern Nenov for Unauthorized Entry

“We’re not that bad,” Seffie cut in. “I’m- I’m not-”

“Wait, you’re a Tailtiutian?” Astram’s jaw dropped to the floor, the questions rushing out fast as bullets, popping all around him. “Oh, that’s so cool! What animal can you turn into? Do you keep your mind while you’re shifted? Is it true Tailtiutians can turn into gods-”

Seffie winced. “Uh…”

“You… don’t know?”

“I’ve never tried shifting. I don’t mind being a human, really. And I don’t think the god thing is true.”

“But… I thought…”

Seffie bristled. “We’re not world-ending monsters. We’re just cryptids who learned how to turn into humans. What makes me any more illegal than you?”

Astram fell silent.

Seffie cursed under his breath. “Sorry. I’m just kinda… pissed right now. I’m stuck in a weird planet, being held against my will where the nearest medical care is almost two weeks away, and I can’t even do anything except sit in my mind and try to find something on the meshnet to keep me occupied. It’s driving me insane.”

“You think you’re going insane after two days?” Astram floated back a few feet, retreating into herself. “I’ve been alone for five years.”

“O-Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t be. You’re not the one who condemned me to silence and sadism for five years. It’s not your fault.” She paused. “I didn’t say thank you for bringing me here. So… thank you.”

“You’re… welcome?” He glanced around. “Well, this isn’t awkward at all.”

20

The bonfire crackled in Ikky’s ears. Xe pulled xir legs in closer, eyes fixed on the flames licking at the logs, poofing up in a flume whenever one of xir siblings dumped a handful of lawn trimmings or broken twigs or other yard waste in. The sun had already dipped far below the horizon, the sky above Heavestone quickly bleeding and bruising to red and purple.

Xir eyelids drooped shut- xe shook her head and forced them open again with xir fingers.

“We used to walk among the gods, Ikky.” Xir father poked at the fire with the long metal rod in his hands, adjusting one of the logs, teetering too close to the edge of the metal ring. “We practically were the gods. Roaming unrestricted across the world’s uninhabited forests, oceans, deserts, anywhere there weren’t humans. We were the stuff of legend!”

Ikky absentmindedly twirled a lock of xir hair around one of xir fingers. Another pang of drowsiness slumped through xir head. “Aren’t we gods now?”

The old man shook his head. “No, child. Not even close. Once, we could take whatever form we pleased. Anything that would get a good scare out of the humans trying to steal our land.” He threw a handful of leaves into the fire. It crackled in delight. A plume of sparks shot into the dying sky. “And we could dissolve into the light. Humans would see the halos in the sky and think seraphim from heaven were among them, making their presence known after holing up in heaven for centuries. But to take such a form now after being human for so long would take years of controlled fasting and isolation from light pollution to clear their body and from humanity and its hubrises to clear their mind. Lifelong asceticism, essentially. I don’t know a soul who would have the fortitude to give up earthly pleasures for so long for only a few moments of fleeting power in return.”

“Oh, come on, Harold.” Ikky’s mother swatted him with her rake. “We’ve lost nothing. So what if we only have one form to change into our whole lives? You rarely shift enough as is. Can’t say you’d know much of a difference.”

He shrugged. “I just worry about the direction this species is heading in. Will our children’s children’s children even be able to shift at all? Or will we be indistinguishable from a bunch of light-headed humans?” He turned back to Ikky. “My sweet child. Icarus Riverine. Maybe your Tailtiutian blood isn’t as potent as that of your ancestors, who carved the mountains and set the seas in motion- but no matter how well you’re able to shift, know that we love you all the same.”

21

“How much longer until entry into atmosphere?”

“Approximately fifteen minutes.”

“Thank you, Voice.”

Ikky disconnected the call and almost immediately reached under the desk. Xir fingers scrambled over the wooden surface, feeling all the years-old crusties that had formed over the years- and then finally running over the cord xe wanted. Xe pulled it and slipped xir whole body under the desk, carefully disconnecting the rest of the cords- keyboard, mouse, display cable- and then slid the little board computer out from its holder and climbed back out from under the desk.

A little green card, no bigger than Seffie’s phone, in a matching black case. Two heatsinks poked out from the protective plastic, shiny and silver.

Ikky slipped it into the cardboard box on xir bed.

“You’ll need the other peripherals,” Kay said, leaning against the bedroom doorframe, his arms crossed. “Unless you’re going to communicate with it telepathically?”

Ikky rolled her eyes and crawled back under the desk. Xe pulled the cords out of the little hole in the back of the desk and threaded them out until xe could pull the keyboard and mouse and display cable out and throw them into the box as well.

Ikky crawled back out from the desk. The jars full of coins, already inside and nestled among four rolled-up shirts and sweatpants, jingled and clinked as Ikky picked up the box and hoisted it over xir shoulder and out of the room.

“Clothes?”

Ikky nodded and padded over to the living room. Xe swept a few of the unlit candles into the box, as well as a little paper box of colored pencils and xir doodlepad sitting on the living room windowsill.

“Extra food rations?”

Ikky nodded. “Sitting by the fridge. They’ll go in last.”

Xe set the box down on the dining room table, just outside the kitchen, and let out a deep breath. Xe glanced out the window- a few birds were perched on the hook right above the birdfeeder, chattering to each other in quick chirps and trills.

"Kay?” Ikky whispered. “Why are you helping me?”

He studied his fingernails. “You’re a part of me. Helping you is helping myself.”

“That’s… reassuring.”

“I try my best.” He flashed xer a smirk. “Are you almost done yet? I don’t think that ship’s going to be very patient with you.”

Ikky shook xir head. Xe went back to the bedroom and retrieved a pillow, setting it beside the box. Xe went back and squatted in front of the dresser and carefully nudged open the bottom drawer, stuck from years of disuse.

A pile of baby blankets. Fabric worn and faded, crocheted lacing on the edges starting to fray at the corners.

Ikky pulled them all out, taking care to keep them folded, and set them on top of the pillow by the box. Xe added the rations from the fridge- three plastic bins with string tied tight to keep the lids from popping off- to the top and stacked the blankets and pillow on and picked up the whole thing and left the cabin.

A major fissure in the cloud cover, stretching from one horizon to the other. The sun glinted in Ikky’s face, so many millions of miles away.

Ikky watched as the ship broke through the cloud cover again. Ikky shrugged xir hood back on, leaning forward until it covered part of xir face, then hiding xir eyes with the feathers again. Xe turned away as the ship landed, stabilizers blowing everywhere what little dust could be sullied off the frozen ground.

The loading platform lowered. Ikky boarded the ship, climbing up the stairs to the dock. The ship rumbled as it rescinded the platform.

“Welcome, Icarus Riverine,” Voice said as Ikky set the box down on the couch with a sigh.

“Call me Ikky.”

“Noted. Hyperjump required for timely arrival at Nenov; use of sleeping pod highly advised.”

Ikky groaned.

Seffie, you know I don’t like using those…

Well, I might as well check them out. Maybe they’ve improved? Less… coffin-like?

Ikky turned and went back down the stairs. Xe turned left and stepped into the medbay and took an immediate left again, pushing open the heavy door with the three locks on it. Pitch black at first, as if a sea of ink, and then the lights flickered on one by one.

One of the sleeping pods’ roofs was shattered, broken plastic all over the floor.

What the hell-

Did he get jumped in here? Attacked while he was asleep? Arrested right after thawing?

Oh, Seffie…

22

There was an unfamiliar weight in her head. Like a hole had been carved out, left to erode, and then been suddenly filled again. Her skull hurt right behind her forehead, a dull thump, thump, thump in time with her heartbeat.

“Astram.”

“Yeah, the monitor says she’s conscious,” a gruff voice said.

Dr. Almes?

“Listen, I can’t bring her up for long,” Dr. Almes said. “I don’t know how aware she’ll be, since I haven’t finished the connectors for the limbs quite yet and I have to keep the connecting joints numbed like crazy. But you can have a few minutes, I’ll give you that. Enough to say hello, eh?”

“Astram,” Makoi whispered. “It’s okay. We’ve dimmed the room. You can open your eyes.”

She opened her eyes a crack. Two adults were standing over her, one on each side of the table. To her left was a scruffy man with an untrimmed beard, wearing a flower-patterned shirt and a pair of sunglasses despite it being almost too dark to see much else. To her right was a woman with tangled dark hair and matching eyes just as forboding, yet somehow softened, staring down at her with only love.

She’s not angry at me, is she?

She shivered. The thin blanket over her body slipped a little- Makoi reached for it and pulled it back over Astram.

That’s one of my baby blankets!

“Good morning,” Dr. Almes whispered. He glanced to Makoi. “Her eyes seem to be operational. Tracking, object permanence, blinking all seem to be functional. I can barely tell them apart from the real thing.”

Makoi wrung her hands. her eyes suddenly focused elsewhere. “Her limbs will be ready tomorrow, right?”

“Yes.” He turned to Astram. “It’s almost over, darling. By this time tomorrow, you’ll be able to stand with the rest of us.” He gestured to the ceiling. “Speak, darling. Your voice has been restored.”

“W-What about Seffie?” Astram whispered, unsure if it was even her own voice or just a robotic imitation. “Is he going to be okay? I don’t want to leave him all alone…”

“I’m… Hmm.” Dr. Almes tapped his chin, thinking. “I don’t know. I haven’t yet found someone here on Nenov with the mechanical knowledge and schematics to get the pendant working again. Plus I need some paste to fix the fissures in the casing when Seffie fell on the pavement and cracked the whole thing. I don’t see it happening anytime soon. My sincerest apologies.”

Astram wiggled. “Makoi?”

Makoi squeezed her eyes shut. “Astram.”

“Are we staying here on Nenov?”

A roll of thunder outside- Dr. Almes’ gaze floated to the ceiling.

Makoi set her jaw. “You’re staying here with Dr. Almes, that’s for sure.”

“What- why?”

Makoi balled her fists. “Some things have changed since the… thing happened. There’s still a few more people I need to make disappear. I don’t know how long it’ll take.” She let out a long breath. “We’ll decide when it’s all over.”

23

Ikky sat at the edge of the dock, right up in front of the wide window. All of the lights in the ship were off, save for the faint guide lights along the edges of the room to keep from accidentally falling down the stairs. Xe leaned up against the glass, xir legs pulled in tight against xir chest, cloak draped over xir body like a bundle of wings cradling the chilly limbs.

The blank void to Ikky’s back, and to xir front, galaxies’ worth of stars and planets billions upon billions of miles away. Like an Earthen child’s tube of glitter had spilled over the dark canvas of space, leaving little sparkles everywhere, impossible to completely launder out ever again.

“Are you ready to sleep, Ikky?”

“I don’t want to go in a sleeping pod,” xe murmured, eyelids drooping, begging for sleep.

“Hyperjump required for timely arrival at Nenov; use of sleeping pod advised.”

“Why? What happens if I don’t?”

“Sudden spike in gravitational forces inside ship; with distance required, potentially life-threatening pooling of blood in lower regions of body.”

“Damn.” Ikky let out a long yawn. Xe rested xir head on xir knees. “Voice? Do you have access to the internet all the way out here in space?”

“Yes.”

“Was it true that Tailtiutians were able to become gods a long time ago?”

The speakers fell silent. Ikky focused xir eyes on a small red planet near the edge of what xe could see through the glass.

That’s Miralay, isn’t it?

You were born there, Seffie. You spent a few days there as a baby. Was it fun? Did the people adore you as the Providence?

Do you miss it?

“The species of Tailtiutians,” Voice suddenly chimed, startling Ikky, “descended from a mixed amalgamation of what are classified today as cryptids. These proto-Tailtiutians had the ability to effortlessly convert their physical matter into energy while retaining their consciousness, effectively granting them the ability to levitate and travel at almost the speed of light. While in this form, to keep from scattering their energy, proto-Tailtiutians were said to concentrate the bulk of their energy into a densely-packed ball, thus leading to early humans mistaking them as Abrahamic seraphim.”

Ikky shivered. Xe pulled xir cloak tighter around. “Did it hurt?”

“I have no data for the specified query.”

“Did Tailtiutian shifting hurt?”

“I have no data for the specified query.”

Ikky’s eyes flickered to a different planet. Tan and swirling; barely anything more. A half-baked memory floated to the surface: an old computer game of some sort; something to do with gravity on different space outposts. No doubt gone with the collapse of most of Earth’s satellites, so many stars falling in the sky, leaving behind streaks of silver on the crisp expanses of night there.

The same sky in Heavestone, over and over and over again until the loop of time unraveled.

“Does it hurt to fall asleep in the sleeping pods?”

“Eight out of ten testers for the current model report little to no sensations of pain when entering temperature-induced suspended animation.”

“Has anyone ever died in there?”

“Anonymised public data collected by the manufacturer show that less than zero-point-zero-one percent of all uses resulted in a potentially life-threatening malfunction.”

Would I even notice if I died?

Ikky pulled xerself up to xir feet. Xe wobbled for a second, still not fully acclimated to the slightly-lowered gravity in the spaceship.

Would anyone notice, really?

Xir cloak swept at xir feet as xe followed the guidelights down the stairs and into the medbay. Xe pushed open the heavy doors to the sleeping pod area. The lights automatically flicked on. Xe began to strip, leaving xir clothes in a pile on the floor beside the closest intact pod.

Completely naked, xe lingered, cloak still buckled and hanging around xir shoulders. Goosebumps rose all over xir skin. The lights inside the sleeping pod faded in and out, baby blue glow like xir walls at home.

What happens if the ship gets brigaded while I’m asleep and helpless?

What happens if I accidentally shift in my sleep? Would that even be possible? Would I go feral and not even notice?

What if-

Ikky took a deep breath and unhooked the cloak. It fell to xir feet. Holding xir breath, xe threw open the sleeping pod lid and climbed in.

24

“Awaken, child. Your suffering ceases in this moment. Draw breath, and rejoice in your new life.”

“Are you… okay?”

“I ordain weddings in my spare time. Speaking like a lunatic preacher adds… pizzazz.”

Astram opened her eyes just as Makoi rolled hers to the ceiling. A heavy unfamiliar weight tugged at the edges of her chest, shoulders and hips aching the most.

She took a deep breath and lifted her right arm up- it shakily pushed past the blanket, shiny metallic fingers uncurling and reaching for the ceiling. It trembled with the effort, and when it inevitably came crashing down, Makoi caught the arm before it could crash on the table.

The widest smile passed over Makoi. She hid her face with her hands. A few heavy sobs passed, and then she blinked the tears out of her eyes and slid her arms under Astram and cradled her in her arms. Astram’s limbs hung limp at first, heavier than expected, but with a few grunts and gargantuan effort, she drew her arms in to rest on her chest.

“You’re alive,” Makoi whispered. “You’re alive, you’re alive!”

“Yeah,” Astram breathed. A baby smile flickered from her new lips. Her new tongue rested easy in her mouth, half original, half unexplored. She rested her head against Makoi’s shoulder. “I’m alive!”

Astram crossed her feet. A strange sensation spread over her ankles- some approximation of nerves, a crude implementation of touch. She slipped a bit- Makoi hoisted her back up into her arms and carried her out of the dark room, Dr. Almes following close behind.

ACT 4

YOU SAID YOU WOULD STAY HERE FOREVER

25

A nest of baby birds chirped, crowded in their mother’s nest. Shattered bits of shells were nestled in all the little cracks between the twigs, slowly filtering their way down to the ground below where they’d decay and melt back into the earth.

Astram tentatively reached a finger to the screen, tapping it as softly as she could, which wasn’t very soft at all. “That’s in Hele Sotheonis, right?”

“Right. Nice and close to Station 3. I have a hunting stand in the Hele.” Dr. Almes adjusted his shirt collar. “Sometimes the population gets a bit… rowdy.”

“You- you don’t kill the birds, do you?” Tears pricked in Astram’s eyes, already glassy. “They’re not doing anything wrong! They’re just chirping and making music and being happy!”

“Oh, calm down. I’m not hurting the birds. They’ve got it hard enough as is.” Dr. Almes set a hand on Astram’s shoulder. “Don’t pout, or a cow’s going to sit on your fat bottom lip.”

Astram tightened her lips.

“I only hunt the big prey. Deer too strong for their own good, and big fat bears, and the like. Too many of them, and they eat too much, and the whole place starves and rots.” He swept his hand over the screen. The livestream view changed, this time displaying a narrow alleyway. The sky was dark and cloudy; the clouds occasionally flashed with baby lightning forming. Several tattered flags hung from the building windows, all sorts of color configurations- most of them had four or five strips, black and white the most common ones.

“Mare Choanerthis,” he said. “That’s the sphere we’re in right now. Ideologically decriminalized. Anything goes, so long as the Overlord doesn’t think you’re threatening the safety of the rest of Nenov. Otherwise he’ll-” he snapped his fingers- “you right out of existence.” Astram shivered. Dr. Almes put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t fret. There’s barely anyone left here anyway. And the few who stick around are either hermits or plain f-” he shook his head- “sick of violence.”

Astram turned back to the screen. “Where’s that?”

“Oh, the flag collection?” He waved his arm behind him. “Somewhere to the eastern end. I haven’t been there in a damn long while. Been busy with… clients.”

Astram took another sip from her applesauce pouch. Maybe next week, she’d start on baby cereal. And then softer vegetables bartered for from the farmers in Hele Sotheonis, boiled down until they lost the characteristic rock-hardness of everything that came from the Hele, and then maybe pasta, and on and on again until she and Dr. Almes didn’t have to sit at different tables for dinner.

The thought made her smile.

Screaming filled her ears. Flashes of bright colors almost faster than her eyes could process, a cacophony of light and sound, rushing water covering up the whole place.

Astram tugged on Dr. Almes’ sleeve. “Please?”

The man shook his head. “Sorry, kid. Your limbs aren’t waterproof.”

“You said they were!”

“I said they were water-resistant. So a quick shower wouldn’t hurt them, but a water park like-” he waved his hand at the chaos of children running within the wide hollowed-out space, making waves as they jumped into the simulated river- “this would instantly short-circuit everything. ’Course, you’d still have to take them off for a shower, since there’s all the chemicals…”

“There’s a playground over here,” Makoi said, pointing to a different area of the cavern.

“But that’s for little kids!”

“Which you fundamentally are, in terms of motor control.” Dr. Almes took Astram’s hand and started pulling her towards the plastic structures. “Come on. I’ll push you on the swings.”

Makoi watched as they disappeared into the primary-colored complex. A few of the kids running around the tower stopped whatever game they were playing to wave hi to the doctor, giggling and running away when he waved back. Makoi took the nearest seat, a beaten-up poolside chair donated from somewhere or other, and leaned back and closed her eyes.

Seffie’s out of commission. I can’t take his ship. How am I going to get off this planet?

I could stay here. I’m sure there’s plenty of people who need a hitman-

And then I’d get executed. Great plan, Makoi. Absolutely brilliant.

A dark shadow passed beyond her eyelids. She opened one eye-

A fist connected with her face, sending her off the side of the chair and straight to the floor.

“What the hell?” she hissed. She pulled herself to her feet-

A familiar blue cloak.

“You. You’re that Tailtiutian, aren’t you?” Makoi reached into the pockets of her shorts and pulled out a jackknife, not yet brandishing it. “You have five seconds to explain yourself.”

“Where’s Seffie?”

“Five, four, three…”

“I came here to repair his pendant.”

“I’ll accept that.” Makoi put the jackknife back in her pocket. “Follow me. It’s a long hike back to Mare Choanerthis.”

26

Makoi stared at Ikky as she shoveled another spoonful of the gray mush into her mouth. Ikky kept xir eyes on her- at least, what she assumed were xir eyes behind the feathers.

“So, I hear you rode Seffie’s spaceship alone all the way here to Nenov.”

Ikky said nothing.

“Was it fun? I can’t imagine it’s anything like flying in the forest, but is it a good approximation?”

Ikky said nothing.

“Well, aren’t you a good conversational partner?”

“Where’s Seffie?”

“I’m not telling you until you demonstrate you’re capable of chatting like a decent human being. Even though you’ve already failed the human part. Now, how was it being all alone for so long?”

“You shot him in the sleeping pod.”

“No- oh, that. I was just… rescuing him from the pod.” Makoi shrugged and ate another spoonful of the mush. “It was malfunctioning.”

“The diagnostic data on the ship showed no signs of a malfunction in any of the sleeping pods.”

Makoi rolled her eyes. “So, how are things in Bryhista? All those feral Tailtiutians keeping you company? You don’t look like you’ve been mauled to death yet.”

Ikky stood up. “I don’t have time for this. Where’s Seffie?”

“Seems just like an animal to try to leave the table without excusing themselves.”

Ikky bared xir fangs. “Where’s Seffie?”

Makoi put a hand on her shorts pocket, feeling the contour of the jackknife through the denim. “Don’t you dare-”

The lock on the front door rattled. They both turned to the front hallway. The door clicked, and then Astram jumped through the doorway, followed by an obviously tired Dr. Almes.

“Sister! We saw this huuuge bug-” She stopped in her tracks. “Who’s that?”

Dr. Almes hung his coat on the rack by the door. “Ikky, I take it?”

Ikky nodded xir head exactly once.

“Astram, this is Ikky. Xe’s going to fix Seffie’s pendant so we don’t have to keep him in the basement forever.”

“Oh, yay!” Astram ran up to Ikky and hugged her. Ikky blanched.

The girl stared up at xir with wide eyes. Confusion suddenly crossed her face. “What’s with the feathers?”

“I’m a Tailtiutian,” Ikky gasped. “Please let go of me. You’re crushing my chest.”

“O-oh, sorry.” Astram backed off. “I’m not very good with my new limbs yet. Oh- you remind me of-”

Ikky waved xir hand. “I know. Where’s Seffie?”

“He’s downstairs. I’ll lead you there.” Astram took Ikky’s hand. “Oh, you’re cold!”

“I know.”

“Is that normal for Tail-whatever you are?”

“It’s normal for me. Now please lead me to Seffie.”

Astram led Ikky down the winding stairs. Dr. Almes and Makoi followed close behind. She flicked on the lights, and the basement flooded into color.

“It’s the second door.”

Ikky slowly turned the doorhandle and stepped inside. Xe flicked on the light. Seffie was lying on a metal table, comatose, connected to a monitor seemingly lifted from an Earthen hospital by a myriad of wires.

Ikky pushed the door shut.

“Hey!” Astram said, voice muffled by the door. “You better not be doing any funny business in there! Dr. Almes has cameras everywhere!”

Ikky locked the door.

Cameras everywhere, huh?…

That… complicates things.

A little wire basket hung off the monitor stand, attached by a magnet like from an Earthen middle schooler’s locker. Ikky stepped closer. The pendant was inside, blue ribbon and all, four cracks running through the case and splaying out the pieces like a flower coming to full bloom.

Ikky pulled it out and sat down on the linoleum floor. Xe pulled a feather out from the bundle covering xir eyes and set to work.

So that doctor dude could give that girl limbs, but he couldn’t fuse together a few simple scraps of metal?

Something’s… off here.

“Or maybe he’s just sorely incompetent with Miralayan technology. Not everything’s a conspiracy against you, you know.”

Ikky almost fumbled the pendant. The tip of the feather glowed red.

“Not now, Kay!”

“You’re not so important that the universe would throw itself out of balance just to kill you.” A chuckle escaped him. “You’re important enough to me, though. Which is why I can’t let you fix that pendant.”

He touched a hand to xir shoulder. A chill shot through Ikky, slithering around xir bones, tightening around xir joints like a pressure bandage an athlete might wear.

Although Ikky was certainly no athlete.

“All my life, I’ve had to play second fiddle to you,” he whispered. “It’s always been your body. Your control. Your life. Me and Rinea? Just shadows on the internet, the only place where we could have been free.”

“No… such thing,” Ikky forced out through xir teeth, fingers trembling as xe tried to fuse the last fissure together.

“And then you took that away from us. Played a cruel game with Kamui and Ghost and all the others. Made them hate us with every fiber in their bodies.”

Ikky pinched the two pieces of metal together and traced the glowing feathertip along the crack. It glowed for a few seconds and then sealed shut again.

“Nobody cares enough about you to harrass you that long.”

Xir fingers contracted. Xe dropped the feather. The tip hissed as it went out. The pendant caught on xir fingertips, swinging by the ribbon.

“And yet… you’re still here. Still haunting me.”

“What can I say? You’re a part of me. I’m a part of you. And I think it’s my turn now.”

Ikky tried to stand up. Xir knees turned to jelly. Xe slumped to the floor.

Laika! The more you run from your fate, the more you just fall right back into it.”

“Don’t call me that!”

“It’s your name. Your father gave it to you. Don’t tell me you’re discarding it again?”

Ikky’s fingers curled around the pendant.

I didn’t calibrate it…

It should be enough for now.

“My father…”

“Loved you. Far more than the pathetic fool who called himself your father in this life. He saved the world! And you stood by his side, helping him every step of the way! You’ve done nothing in this life. Just hid from the world like a coward and squandered everything.”

“That’s funny.” Ikky pushed xerself to xir knees, leaning against the table for balance. “Real funny.”

“Oh? Am I a comedic genius now?”

The tendrils of cold started creeping up Ikky’s neck, slowly ascending xir spine one bone after another, becoming straight and stiff. “Show me your face.”

“I thought you said I didn’t exist? Why would a person who doesn’t exist have a face?”

“Show me your beautiful face, you coward.”

"Well, if you’re going to call me beautiful…

Kay brushed his hand over Ikky’s shoulders, taking care to keep contact so as to not let up the ice. He crouched down beside xer, icy cerulean eyes more vivid than any daydream could ever conjure. His skin was smooth, flawless, as if carved by a master modeler and brought across the divide from the world of the divine.

“Do you want to be powerful again, Laika? To stand at the top of the world, knowing that all must bow down to you or perish?” His lips curled up in a smile. “I will bring us to greatness. No longer will these powers be squandered. No longer will we deny the godhood we were born with.”

Forgive me, Seffie.

“Jokes on you,” Ikky whispered. “I already am a god.”

Xe jerked xir right shoulder up. The pendant flew from xir fingertips and rested on Seffie’s chest, roughly where his sternum was.

“Oh, you little bitch!”

Ikky let xerself fall back. The thump of xir head hitting the hard ground was a mere echo in xir ears.

The ice melted from xir bones. Xe closed xir eyes and let the wave of light wash over xir body.

27

Virtuality7, Rev. 10.9

Now booting…

A recent system crash has been detected. Your autocontrol system’s critical services appear to have been manually stopped prior to the crash. Commencing full system startup…

A sliver of light tore across Seffie’s vision. Nothing but yellow beyond.

Am I dead?

I don’t feel dead. Wait- those are my eyelids. I’m waking up.

Ikky fixed my pendant!

Restoring control of all voluntary muscles…

He opened his eyes. His limbs trembled as he pushed himself off the table and peeled off the wires taped all over his body and stood up. The pendant clattered to the floor. He bent over, leaning on the table to keep his balance, and picked the pendant up and returned it to its rightful place dangling from his neck.

It was like a fog had rolled in and settled all around him, but instead of a mass of gray air, it was light- yellow surrounded him, banishing every shadow possible, just a flat color to everything. He felt around the room for the door, then tried to pull it open.

Locked.

His fingers climbed a few inches up to the lock, which he flipped open, and threw open the door.

Just more light everywhere.

He took a step forward- his foot hit something metal. He glanced down. Three people were cowering on the floor- Lazarus, Dr. Almes, and a girl with short blonde hair.

“Astram?”

The girl whimpered. “Too much light!”

“Astram, I’m leaving now.”

“It hurts…”

I don’t think she’s listening.

Seffie stepped over them and dropped down to the ground, feeling around until he bonked his head on the lowest step of the staircase. He crawled up one step at a time like a dog, like he’d done as a small child going up the stairs, always making sure to get back on his own two feet before opening the door to the upstairs living room.

Except he rolled onto the floor this time, catching his breath.

The light faded a little.

Lazarus isn’t… following me?

The light faded a little more.

“Feck!” Lazarus yelled from downstairs.

Seffie rolled onto his feet and took off running.

Threat to life detected. Calculating safest route of escape.

The light strengthened a bit. Seffie’s eyes burned; he squeezed them shut.

Switching to graphical mode.

A map overlayed on his vision. A pulsing dot where he was, navigating through the streets of- Mare Choanerthis, the top of the map read. A green line traced through the streets in front of him, showing his route, helping him navigate through the blocks.

Shots popped in the distance.

He turned the corner and opened his eyes.

The light quickly faded back to black. A meteorstorm filled the sky. Dozens- no, hundreds of shooting stars falling down, breaking off into smaller pieces, leaving tendrils of dust behind in the sky.

All of them heading to where the green line was taking him.

I…

“Come back here, you Tailtiutian scum!”

Another turn. The airlock of Station 13 came into view, all the way at the end of the street. The meteors were slamming into the open airlock, into his ship, causing no damage but adding to a lumpy mass of glowing something within.

More pops behind him.

“I’ll hunt you down to the ends of this universe if you leave! You’ll never be safe again! I’ll hound you until I can slit your throat myself-”

Seffie leaped into the airlock. It slammed shut behind him.

He rolled over onto his side-

Ikky let out a wheeze.

“Ikky!” Seffie’s heart threatened to break out of his chest as he rolled his friend over onto xir back. “Ikky, are you okay?”

Ikky nodded. Xir chest heaved. Xir skin was deathly pale, almost stark white. “Seffie…”

“Ikky…”

“Yeah, I know. I’m exhausted. Probably hurt more than giving birth would have.” Xe smiled, lopsided, clearly exhausted. “So-”

The airlock door thumped.

Seffie got up and wrapped his arms under Ikky’s and dragged xer into the main dock. “Voice, we’re leaving.”

“Disembarking immediately.”

The ship shuddered as the airlocks closed and disconnected from the station. Seffie stumbled and then fell to the floor beside Ikky.

And, despite everything, they met only with giggles.

28

Ikky tucked a few stray strands of hair behind xir ears, the feathers returned to their rightful place: a few tucked in xir hair behind xir ears, the rest disappeared in xir cloak. Xe stood in front of the dock’s window-wall, eyes exploring the stars. Xe cradled a cup of tea in xir hands; barely any heat escaped the ceramic-like material to xir palms, but xir skin still turned pink, normal color gradually returning to xir body.

“We need to talk,” Seffie said, coming up behind xer. “You’re not in trouble. I’m just… concerned.”

Ikky took a sip of the blue liquid. “I know.”

“Ikky, what the hell happened back there? You were with me, and then you weren’t, and now you’re back on my ship…”

Ikky turned toward Seffie. Xe took a huge gulp of the tea, the last drops disappearing down xir throat. Seffie wrung his hands.

“It’s a long story,” xe said at last, eyes still focused on the bottom of the cup. “Years’ worth of work, all spent in a few fleeting moments I didn’t even get to enjoy.” Xe glanced up at the man before her. “But I’d rather have you safe and sound.”

“That still doesn’t answer my question.” He paused. His eyes widened. “So when Astram asked me if Tailtiutians could become gods…”

“Light forms, yes. Not gods. A god could have smited Lazarus and the others outright and given you more time. Or just teleported you straight to the ship. Or both you and the ship straight to Bryhista.” Xe set the cup down on the little table beside the couch. “I did what I could. I’m just happy I managed to stay in one piece…”

Xir words trailed off. Xir eyes grew wide in fear. Xe took a few steps back, backing up against the window, back pressed up against the glass.

“Ikky?” Seffie stepped forward. “Are you okay?”

“No… I thought-” Ikky’s hands trembled as xe held them out. “I thought I left you back on Nenov!”

“What are you talking about? I’m right here! We were just talking!”

“You’re not a part of me! You’re not real!”

Seffie glanced around. “Is there… a ghost?”

“You’re not… you’re not…”

Seffie flew over to Ikky. He crouched down beside xer and put his arms around xir shoulders, holding xer close. Xe leaned into him, still trembling, eyes still focused on something before them he couldn’t see.

"Kay,” Ikky yelled. “You’re not me. You’re not real. You never were.” A pause. “No I wasn’t! There was no past life! Stop believing all the bullshit Ghost fed us!”

Kay and Ghost?

So this must be from all the way back when…

“Ikky,” he whispered. “I don’t know exactly what’s going on. And I don’t know what happened with you and Ghost and all those other people online all those years ago. But I don’t care what happened in your past lives, real or not. I don’t care if you’re someone else reincarnated, or even if they’re from the same reality as us. I love you for who you are in this life.” He rested his head against his friend's. “I love you for who you are now.”

Ikky took Seffie’s hands. Xir fingers curled around his, dappled brown and tan against the pink.

“Thank you, Seffie. I think…” Xe closed xir eyes. Xe almost looked childlike in his arms, infantile, at peace. “I might have a little bit of energy left.”

“For?”

No response, safe for a tiny smirk on xir face. Xe leaned back- and then it was if all of the atoms in xir body just collectively decided to disband, dissolving into nothing along with xir clothes, completely gone.

And then a dusting of gold on the ground. The room filled with the same yellow fog that had kept him safe just hours prior.

A silhouette of a man writhing on the ground in pain, screaming, inaudible. The light ate away at his body, poking holes in his skin, letting even brighter beams poke out- Seffie’s hands flew to his face, peeking through his fingers.

“It’s like you said, Kay,” a voice echoed, everywhere and nowhere. “I’m a part of you. And you’re a part of me.”

The man turned his head to Seffie. Ikky’s eyes stared back at him. Desperate, pleading, an arm stretched out in front of him, even though none of his words were audible.

Seffie blinked. There was another silhouette, straddling the man between xir legs. Xir cloak flapped in an imperceptible wind. A bundle of sharp-rooted feathers in one hand.

Like a dagger.

“Why are you resisting? You knew all along this was your fate. The harder you run from it, the harder you’ll just fall right back into it. Like you said, right?”

The man hissed, face crumpling in agony.

“I spit on all that. On your ideas of fate. You don’t define me anymore.”

Xe pulled xir arm back, fist almost crushing the feathers.

“I refuse to be constrained by a mere memory!”

29

Something soft and yet deathly cold brushed against the backs of his hands.

Fingers?

They don’t feel bony, so it must not be the reaper come to get me…

“It’s alright, you big dumb. You can open your eyes now.”

Seffie let his hands drop. He opened his eyes. Everything was back to normal. Ikky stood in front of him, in same dress as xe’d been in just an hour before.

“Is he dead?”

Ikky shook xir head. “That’s like asking if the laws of physics are dead. It’s hard to kill something without a tangible form, you know…” Ikky sighed. “Not a person. Just a set of bad habits. And you know I’ve always been bad about habits.”

“O…kay. I’m not sure I understand, but I believe you. A-and I'll be here for you. If you need help.”

Stars above, I'm such a mess...

Seffie blushed and strolled over to the dashboard. “Voice? What’s our current destination?”

“No destination currently set.”

“Let’s go to Bryhista, then.” He glanced back over his shoulder at Ikky. “I’ll drop you off.”

“Actually, I was thinking-”

“Wildfire alert in place for Bryhista. Travel both directions is restricted to emergency services only.”

“Wildfire?” Ikky ran up to beside Seffie. “What- how- Is my cabin okay?”

“Leithtemple Farm in affected area.”

Ikky sunk to xir knees. “My cabin… It’s…” Xir face fell into xir hands. “It’s all gone. All my work…”

Seffie dropped down to beside xer. “I’m sorry. Do you need a hug?”

Ikky sucked in a pained breath and violently shook xir head.

He tilted his head up. “Voice? Do I have any shipping requests?”

“One request. Planet Lestrater, Sector 3, Orchidia System. Three handmade stools. Requested delivery date in one week.”

“I think we can handle that. I accept. Put it on the schedule.” He crouched down to Ikky. “I’m about to touch you, okay? We’re just going to the observation deck. Can you walk?”

Ikky nodded. Seffie put an arm around Ikky’s shoulders and helped xer up to xir feet. He guided his friend, whose face was two seconds away from collapsing into an ugly sob, to the window-wall. Nenov was almost a speck in the distance, no bigger than his pinkie fingernail.

“What now?” Ikky whispered, throat raspy. “We can’t explore Nenov, since Lazarus is there. I can’t go back to…” Xe let out a wet breath, batting tears away, desperately biting back the sobs threatening to rise in xir throat. “Lazarus is going to keep hounding us. There’s nowhere safe.”

“I think…” Seffie retreated from xer and stepped forward, one finger on his chin, thinking as Nenov got smaller and smaller. “Nowhere was really safe to begin with.”

“Heavestone was safe.”

“As long as the loop in time was intact, and Alegria didn’t give enough of a damn to try to break into it, and nobody leaked its location. But even Heavestone fell eventually.” He let his hand drop back to his side. “You’re good with computers, right?”

Ikky rubbed xir eyes. “Yeah.”

“Is there any way you could somehow secure everything so that Lazarus doesn’t know where I’ll be picking up or dropping off packages? I don’t know how adept she is, and I don’t want a client to get randomly killed and set up for ambush.”

Ikky rubbed xir nose. “I could teach you some basic key-based encryption. I can’t promise that your clients will use it, or that they won’t accidentally leak information on their side of the exchange, but it’s the best I can think of right now.” Xe stepped over to Seffie and put a hand on his shoulder. The skin around xir eyes flushed red. “Is this you offering me a job?”

“It’s always been open.”

Ikky nodded. “Then I accept. But really? Lestrater? What’s an artisan doing in a cesspool of rich snobs and stuffy architecture like that?”

Seffie shrugged. “I guess we’ll find out.”

“I sure hope so.” Ikky clapped xir hands. “Voice, lights out.”

The lights went out in the dock, leaving them in darkness, two silhouettes cut out from the cloth of the ever-burning stars twinkling in the distance. Nenov was a speck of dust, as inconsequential as the actual dust no doubt collecting on the inside of the curved glass- it would need to be cleaned one day.

But not at that moment. It could wait.

He pulled up his interface. The ship battery was at 87%. Fuel tanks were at 43%; they’d need to be refueled soon. One current shipment pending for pickup; two more requests had landed in the queue in the few minutes since last he’d checked.

“I thought you preferred talking to Voice?” xe said.

He swiped the words away. “You looked like you were getting overwhelmed. And thinking. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“So considerate.” Xe sniffled. “I was thinking, actually. About this one time I snuck a peek at Eponine’s diary. The one the Heavestone museum had, stolen before the fire.”

Seffie raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“One of the last entries was him thinking about… re-entry.” Xe folded xir hands. “He had a dream once. An alternate timeline, where he and Serlis had somehow come back down to Earth together, both refugees after a brutal uprising. Nothing that wouldn’t immediately pale in the face of the Sons of Eponine and their terrorism, but… Anyways, they were condemned to wander through Earth together, since Heavestone was destroyed in their absence. Hiding their location from Alegria, taking on entirely new identities, everybody and nobody. Together until the end.”

“Together until the end.” He shivered and adjusted his cloak, pulling it tighter around his neck. “I think I like the sound of that. Without the whole changing my identity part, though. I kinda like who I am.”

Ikky giggled. “I thought you might. But don’t get any funny ideas. We’re friends.”

Seffie pulled up his interface again. Food stocks would be sufficient, although he’d have to buy more at Lestrater. The money Lazarus had put into his account had been barely dented from however many refuels Ikky’d made on the way to Nenov. Interplanetary traffic was lower than usual; Earth was celebrating another religious holiday that the rest of the planets usually ignored. There’d be a surge in a few days when everything was said and done, relatives and friends going back home to their home planets.

He waved the words away. He reached into his shirt and pulled out the pendant, hasty soldering glinting gold from what little he could see. His fingers curled around it.

You love me lots, right, Mother? Despite everything I’ve done?

No response, as expected.

Home was an unknown; surely they’d go crazy in such a relative closed quarters. And who knew what the police would have to say to them after harboring Lazarus? Not to mention the clients who’d been left without a shipping supplier for so long?

But Ikky was beside him, staring into the stars. Not unharmed, but unbroken ever still. Breathing, not alive and masquerading as a ghost from the tomb but fully alive.

And for now, for him, that was enough.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

VANE VANDER, if born in a different timeline, probably would have been some kind of cave explorer or underground cultist. She spends her days lurking in the deepest recesses of Gopherspace, finding new ways to break her computer's operating system, and generally being a digital nomad. She can usually be found at mayvaneday.art.

Copyright © 2019-2021 Vane Vander. All rights reserved as detailed in Copyright.